Coming soon to a store near you (if it’s not already there): the technology that takes the “guilt” out of watching a movie with sex, violence or profanity, by simply removing the content. RCA’s Clearplay DVD player, selling for just $70, can be programmed to automatically edit out such scenes virtually any movie at your local rental store. Just load in special software, and poof! There goes the offending content.

Filmmakers, including Steven Speilberg, Martin Scorsese and Steven Soderbergh say Clearplay Technology violates copyright laws and are suing. Clearplay claims it’s not violating copyright laws but instead is just filtering out material the consumer could remove himself with the fast forward button…and we all know how taxing holding down one button can be! (I suspect that the “copyright violation” allegation comes into play because Clearplay sells new “filter” information for every new movie that comes out. You must buy or rent the movie, then buy Clearplay’s new filter information for their DVD to work properly. In this way, Clearplay is “profiting” through the sales of copyrighted material registered to other people.)

This reminds me of a woman my mom worked with years ago. Every Christmastime, she would object to the office’s plan for a “Christmas party” because of her religious beliefs. She would attend only if the office would call it a “December party,” instead. Of course, there was no “October party” or “February party.” December was the only month to receive such yule tidings. Also, there were Christmas decorations (though nothing specifically of a Nativity nature) and Christmas gifts being exchanged so that no one who attended could possibly have missed the fact that it was a celebration of Christmas itself. But they named the event a “December party” and she happily attended. She didn’t exchange gifts, but she partook of the event itself.

By calling it something else, she felt that it was okay to participate in something otherwise sinful and inappropriate. But they all knew — she must have, too — that it was a Christmas party. She never suggested that the office not have a party: she set the terms required for them to enjoy her attendance. It made her feel better for taking part in something her “beliefs” told her she shouldn’t have taken part in to begin with.

I point this example out because that’s exactly what the hypocrites who buy these gizmos are doing. The wonderful thing about freedom in this country is that if you don’t like something, you don’t have to buy it. If there’s a television show you object to, there are hundreds of other channels waiting for you. If enough people don’t like it (and don’t watch!), the show disappears. If enough people are offended by a movie’s content, if flops. It’s as democracy as our capitalistic system gets.

If there is a movie that you feel has too many obscenities or is too violent, you have a choice not to watch it. To avoid a film for that reason says nothing bad about you. You are exercising your right. But to watch a “sanitized” version of a movie you object to means you’re simply taking part in something you object to and calling it something else.

What was Shakespeare’s line about a rose by any other name?

Think about it this way: when you go out and buy or rent a movie, drop it into your machine and watch the “edited” version of it, who really wins? The very people who produced the so-called “filth” to begin with! They’re still getting their royalty on the film you spent your money on. You’re continuing to support them financially.

As for you, if a story has a legitimate reason for using violence or profanity, the removal of it must detract from the story, so your own entertainment experience is diminished. If the story is chock-full of it for no reason, it isn’t a good story, anyway. Why waste your time on it?

If you like to be spoon-fed “clean” versions of everything, then run out and get yourself one of these machines. It’s just like the “December party.” It might just make you feel better about watching that “naughty” movie. Just don’t let those rose-colored glasses you’re wearing make you trip over some harsh piece of reality on the way to the rental store.

If you really want to do something about violence and profanity in entertainment, then stay away from the titles you object to. If enough people do that, it will send a message.