Mar 27
Persistence: How Much?
Over at his The Life of Writing, Mike has written a post entitled, “Persistence; How Much is Too Much?” He discusses those writers who have lost their families to their determination to the writing craft, and mentions the story of a writer who, three months into writing his first novel, decided to take the ultimate leap of faith and quit his job.
Mike points out that understanding spouses and friends are critical for writers. But he then adds that balance is at least as important, and I couldn’t agree more.
I think a healthy writer needs to think about setting their own limits and do an occasional reality check; the responsibility to save the relationships shouldn’t fall only on the shoulders of those around the writer: if the writer values his or her relationships, in whatever form they come, that writer needs to make sure sufficient time is spent in nurturing those relationships, even when the work-in-progress is calling.
Too much of a good thing, even writing, it seems to me, isn’t necessarily good.
I think any writer who really wants to base their writing life on answering the question of how much persistence is too much also needs to ask this: How much is really too little?
What they end up doing with their writing ideally should fall somewhere between those two points.
Once you know what the absolute minimum you can do to get published is, that’s the healthy place to begin. Work yourself up from there. Slowly.
That’s not to say that I think you should do as little as possible to get by. What I mean, though, is that it’s easier to back off of something when you start off slowly than it would be if you started off at full throttle. For me, if I were to find my relationships suffering because of my writing, it would be easier to back off on the writing if I’d slowly built up to the point of time that’s causing the problem. If I suddenly immersed myself completely in it, then encountered demands that I pull myself out, I might feel some resentment about that. And that’s not a likely beginning to a repaired relationship.
I suspect that any relationship that the writer expects only the other party to do all the work in sustaining isn’t nearly as strong as it should be, and will likely fall apart one way or another anyway.
March 29th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
Interesting topic Patrick. Writing really requires one to be a bit of a loner. Finding time to be along is a huge challenge for me. Sometimes being alone physically isn’t enough. I find I need to be alone from thoughts of others, other needs, other life issues. It can be difficult to be alone and not alienate everyone around you don’t you think?
March 30th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
Writing can be all-consuming if you let it.
I don’t think I could do the “leap of faith” thing––quitting my job. I’m more methodical, but I do write sometimes to the exclusion of all else.
Luckily I’m like a functioning drunk, I can write all night and still get by the next day on little sleep.
April 2nd, 2006 at 1:11 pm
I tend to think that everyone can (and does) choose what to place at the top of a list of priorities. To be a successful (getting paid) writer, the writing must come first. When I teach students, usually females with families, I amend this dictum with the coda, “except in the case of a family emergency, of course.” That’s a socially acceptable way to put it. In my reality, I wish I’d made writing the top priority in my life!