Earlier this week, a group calling itself the International Astronomical Union decided to wewrite history by stripping Pluto of its status as “planet.”

So what did they decide it is? A “dwarf planet.”

A dwarf planet, according to Wikipedia, has the following characteristics:

• Is in orbit around the Sun
• Has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape
• Has not “cleared the neighborhood” around its orbit
• Is not a satellite of a planet, or other nonstellar body

Pluto, discovered in 1930, had been considered a planet for all of its 76 years (though it’s safe to say that Pluto is a lot older than that). The catch that demoted it is that “clearing the neighborhood” part. No, that has nothing to do with Pluto’s oddball orbit that takes it into the path of Neptune’s, though never close enough to actually crash; the problem is that Pluto has not entirely cleared the “Kupier Belt,” an area of ateroids and similar bodies, some planetoids and other large rubble formed in various parts of our solar system and now relegated to the darkest corners.

All of us grew up learning that there were nine planets, not “eight planets and a series of Trans-Neptunian objects.” Why, even the clever little saying we used to help us remember the names of the planets — the first letter of each word corresponded, in order, with the first letter of each planet — “My very educated mother just showed us nine planets,” placed Pluto in the “planet” position.

If the IAU really wants us to stop referring to “nine planets,” they should have come up with a better alternative. As far as I’m concerned, the operative word in “dwarf planet” is planet…much like “toy poodles” or “teacup poodles” are still poodles, even if not the large, standard poodles.

And just try to tell a human dwarf, generally classified under the presumably less-offensive term, “little person,” that he’s not really a person.

Call it a “planetoid” or “super-asteroid” or “mega-rock” or something like that, and I’ll go with “eight planets.” But a planet, even a dwarf, is still a planet in my book. So there.