I was just reading the most recent edition of West Of, a local newspaper devoted to covering the West Ashley neighborhood of Charleston.  One of the stories describes how an elderly woman fell victim to a “flim-flam” scam at a local post office.

As George Carlin might say, this story is “full of things that piss me off.”

Here’s what happened, according to the article:

“The victim said she had been approached by two unknown suspects….  She said both were well-dressed, and the man was wearing attire similar to a preacher, and he told her he led a church in North Charleston.  The suspects told the victim that they had seen a man in the parking lot drop a box that contained $64,000 in US currency, and when they tried to give it back to him, he refused to take it.”

Let me pause for a second.  If you dropped a box that contained $64,000 in any currency, would you refuse to take it back?

The story continues:

“The suspects told the woman they would give her $20,000 if she would give them some money in return.”

Let’s think about this for a second:  here are two strangers, apparently church leaders, who just found money.  Why wouldn’t these characters give the money — all of it — to their own church?  (That’s of course if they were adamant about not doing the right thing, which would be turning it in to the police.)

And if they’re going to hand you $20,000 of money that isn’t theirs to begin with, and will then keep the remaining $44,000 for themselves, why would you need to give them anything in return?  If they want you to hand them $5,000, for example, why not just take this “fee” out of your “share?”

If they approached me with such a scheme, I’d say that I’d be fine with taking just $15,000…or even $10,000.  They could keep the other half of my take with my complements.

If that didn’t float their boat, they could just give me $100 and I’ll go have a hell of a nice dinner.  And they can negotiate some screwball trade with the next average Joe who walks by.

The woman, unfortunately, then handed these people almost four thousand from her Social Security check, but the suspects said that wouldn’t be enough for them to be motivated to give her $20,000.  So she withdrew more money from her bank, gave it to one of the suspects, who promptly disappeared.

But really…why would anyone fall for this?  On what level does this possibly sound legit?  Am I missing something?
Folks, please call your folks or any elderly relatives who are still alive and discuss this story with them.  If any of them say they’d go for it, you might consider making sure someone accompanies them whenever they have banking business to do.

For their own sake.