I’m having troubles with my internet service.

Once again.

I called the New AT&T, wishing it were still the old AT&T — at least then, you could get a human being on the phone and they’d actually do something.  They did some diagnostic tests while I was on my cell phone, being sure to give me the high-tech name for each test they did.

(Was I supposed to be impressed?  Hey, here’s what would impress me:  keep my internet service up and running for longer than thirty-five seconds at a time this afternoon!)

Then they claimed that there must be a problem with my line because I wasn’t in sync.

(No idea what that means, exactly, but I assume it has little to nothing to do with that old boy-band.  At least I hope it doesn’t.)

The woman then says someone will have to be dispatched to check the line.  Well that’s certainly fine with me.  Then she checks her appointments and offers me my choice of two four-hour blocks of time.

Four hours?

I certainly understand that they can’t necessarily nail down a specific time, like 3:15pm, for instance.  But they have to be able to come up with something better than somewhere between 1:00pm and 5:00pm!  Who can stop their lives for four hours and just sit around the house waiting for someone to show up?

My boss is great about letting me run home whenever I need to, since I live close to work, anyway.  And my schedule is such that I can take my lunch hour really any time of day.  So there’s never any set time that I’m home.  (Makes it tougher on burglars that way, too!)

But a four-hour block is a little much.  Besides, I don’t think my dogs are going to stop barking long enough to open the door and make friends with a stranger.  So I set an appointment for next Saturday.

That will give me a week to get the apartment presentable for someone to come inside and have a look around.

And yes, you and I both know that whatever the problem is, it’ll be something that is fixed at the poll, and doesn’t require anyone to set one foot inside my door.

They’re certainly not fooling me.  I’ve been around this block before.

…between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ?

Santa Claus is only good — only “shows the love,” if you will — to those who are good, not those who are “naughty,” and represents all of the things we all really, really want.

Jesus Christ loves and sees the good in everyone regardless of how naughty they may have been and represents the one thing we all really, really need: His grace.

Just something to ponder as we get closer to December 25th and begin wondering about the real meaning of Christmas.

Happy holidays to you all!

Twitter is a strange bird.

For those who have never heard of it, it’s a web-based update system that allows users to create an account, then post short answers to the age-old question, “What are you doing?”  Basically, your friends can get updates from you on what’s going on in your life.  You are restricted to just 140 characters at a time, so it’s far from the concept of being a blog.

I know that this is the Information Age, but is this overkill?

I signed up the other day for the service, quickly realizing that this is the kind of thing whose target audience is people far younger than I am.  Within an hour of having signed up, an old friend from my college days sent me a message.  I haven’t heard from her, aside from the annual exchange of Christmas cards, in a few years now.  So signing up was definitely worth it just for that reason alone.

Facebook, a social networking site that is pretty popular these days, offers status messages for each user.  This is essentially Facebook’s own attempt at Twittering.  (Side note:  I wonder why Twitter doesn’t seem to mind its name being used a verb:  that’s supposed to be a trademark no-no.)  Facebook has a character limit as well, but I think it’s a little higher than Twitter’s.  One day, if I get really, really bored, I may count it out.  I hope I don’t get that bored.

Do you, my readers, have a preference — or even any interest at all — in such things?  Would you prefer to see the Facebook updates, the Twitter updates, or neither?  Do you do either?  Do you really care?

To those of you who are my age or older, don’t worry:  I promise I am not a step closer to buying a Corvette.  While a mid-life crisis may not be out of the question, there are limits in terms of trying to look hip and cool.  Twitter and Facebook, at least, are free.

I hope you’ve all not only had a great Thanksgiving, but have enjoyed your fill of fantastic Thanksgiving leftovers. Isn’t it amazing how far a turkey can go when you really put your mind to it?

This week’s questions focuses on the real meaning of the holiday: taking time to give thanks.  A new Rasmussen poll shows that despite the rough economic times, 86% of American adults say they have a lot to be thankful for.  So that should make this week’s challenge an easy one.

• First to play last week: Astaryth of Adventures of an Eclectic Mind

(According to the rules, “First to Play” requires you to be the first to include the link to the specific entry in which you answered the questions, not just the general link to your blog.)

Here is this week’s “Sunday Seven” question. Either answer in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your blog…but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as “first to play,” you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your blog in which you answer the questions. A general link to your blog cannot count. Enjoy!

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
Name seven things for which you are thankful.

Either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered “first to play,” a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.) You may include this link in the URL space when leaving your comment, or in the comment itself. As long as it’s there in one spot or the other.

I guess a sluggish economy wasn’t enough to keep a little too much enthusiasm out the minds of some shoppers in New York.

Shoppers outisde the Wal*Mart store in the Green Acres Mall became nothing short of an unruly mob, and five minutes before the store was schedule to open, in a money-saving frenzy, they became out of control, busting open the sliding glass doors, and trampling a store employee to death during their rush to get whatever special deal they had their hearts set on.

These aren’t people gripped in an economic crisis.  People who are struggling with bills stayed home.  These are people who have more money than brains, and their greed led to a loss of life.  And over what?  What item in a Wal*Mart store could possibly be that important?

Criminal charges, local police say, are possible.  If it were up to me, they’d be more than possible.  And we’d be talking murder.

Another less-serious incident occurred at a different Wal*Mart the same morning:

About the time that Mr. Damour was killed, a shopper at a Wal-Mart in Farmingdale, 15 miles east of Valley Stream, said she was trampled by a crowd of overeager customers, the Suffolk County police reported. The woman sustained a cut on her leg, but finished her shopping before filing the police report, an officer said.

If you’re more concerned about getting the bargain than reporting a crime, you ought not be allowed to waste an officer’s time.

This kind of thing isn’t what the season is supposed to be about.  But then, most of us do know that, don’t we?

You may have already seen this, but I just had to mention it.

This week, White House staffers had to apologize for an invitation sent to leaders of the Jewish community.  The invites were to a Hanukkah reception at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  There’s nothing so out-of-the-ordinary about that.

The reason for the apology was for the image on the front of the invitation:  it depicted a horse-drawn cart pulling a Christmas tree to the White House, which is decorated with a holiday wreath.  Spokesman Sally McDonough said it was one of those things that just “fell through the cracks.”

There are a lot of things I can imagine might easily fall through the cracks.  Putting a Christmas tree on a Hanukkah invitation isn’t one of them.

Replacement invitations, depicting the White House’s menorah, were scheduled to be sent out on Thursday, though I’m not sure whether they meant Thursday of this week (which would have been a postal holiday) or next week.

At least one of the Jewish leaders took the gaffe in stride:  Isaac Abraham of Brooklyn said, “It’s obvious what’s going on here: The Christmas tree is being taken out of the White House and the menorah is being brought in the back.”

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I figured I’d devote this week’s Saturday Six to the big feast.

• First to play last week: Yen of Little Peanut. Congratulations!

(According to the rules, “First to Play” requires you to be the first to include the link to the specific entry in which you answered the questions, not just the general link to your blog.)

Here are this week’s “Saturday Six” questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal…but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as “first to play,” you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. What single food on the Thanksgiving dinner menu did you most look forward to?

2. What single food was your least favorite?

3. How many plates of food did you eat? Did you take the big nap afterwards?

4. Take the quiz: What holiday food are you?

5. What dessert item did you most enjoy from the big feast? Who made it?

6. How many meals of leftovers did you bring home?

If you have a Reader’s Choice question you’d like to see asked (and answered), send me an email! I’d love to be able to include it in a future edition of the Saturday Six.

Just when retailers thought things were getting about as bad as they could going into Black Friday, the first day of the Christmas shopping season, some merchants in downtown Charleston got a nasty surprise this morning:  vandals had superglued the front door locks at more than 70 — and as many as 90 — stores.

By putting the glue into the keyholes, the merchants weren’t able to turn the tumblers to unlock the doors, leaving them closed for business and fuming for payback.

One store owner decided to throw a cinder block through the front door so they could at least get customers lined up during the early morning hours inside.

The real winners this Black Friday in downtown Charleston seem to have been folks who never get much attention on a day like this:  local locksmiths.

Contrary to popular belief, the Pilgrims didn’t feature turkey as the primary dish in that legendary first Thanksgiving dinner.

They ate deer.  According to the journal of one of the participants, Indians killed five of them — deer, not Pilgrims — for the big meal.  There’s also mention that others went hunting for fowl of some sort, but no one seems to know what kind of birds, if any, made their way to the table.  So even if a turkey or two was in unwilling attendance, it was merely a side dish.

The more likely main courses sharing the spotlight with deer were fish, clams and oysters.

I don’t mind fish, and I love a good bowl of clam chowder on a chilly afternoon.  But deer and oysters are two things I just don’t do.

But turkey is definitely on my good list.  And a few slices of Honeybaked Ham.  And the typical sides.

Followed by a nice tryptophan-induced coma.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

I’ll say one thing for Facebook, one of those “social networking” sites all the kids are flocking to these days:  when it comes to birthdays, you’ll get plenty of attention.

I had people I haven’t heard from in 20 years — literally — wishing me happy birthday.  And despite being one who isn’t wild about attention over such matters, it was kinda nice.

This means, of course, that there are now three reasons people you’ve known from way back get together when a class reunion isn’t occurring:  weddings, funerals, and Facebook.

“It’s where life begins, you know. Everything up until that moment…is a tryout.”
—Harry Belafonte, on turning 40

Today’s the day of the dreaded 39th birthday. I call it “dreaded” not because it brings me one step closer to being out of my thirties, but because it’s the age at which no one believes you’re not already out of your thirties!

The legendary comedian Jack Benny, one of my all-time favorites,  made a joke out of being 39 until he was past 80.

Unfortunately for those of us who aren’t yet 40, Benny’s 40-year gag has made people automatically suspicious of poor old 39.

Anyone who claims to be 39 is always regarded as trying to dodge the “awful” truth of having really turned 40.  Or older.

Therefore, I have decided on a course of action that will take this long-held myth into account:  I will remain 38 years old for one more year.  Then, in 2009, when I would legitimately turn 40, that’s when I’ll say I’m 39.  And everyone will get exactly what they think they’re expecting.

What can I say?  I do what I can to please.

Every once and a while, the maker of M&Ms chocolate candy makes a big deal about a color change in the packaging of the little treats. But how many colors do we really need?

Well this week, the answer to that question is seven.

Here is a list of the 22 colors that one can custom order for special personalized M&M candies. Your job is to pick the seven from that list that you think should be standard in every bag.

• First to play last week: Otowi of Otowi

(According to the rules, “First to Play” requires you to be the first to include the link to the specific entry in which you answered the questions, not just the general link to your blog.)

Here is this week’s “Sunday Seven” question. Either answer in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your blog…but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as “first to play,” you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your blog in which you answer the questions. A general link to your blog cannot count. Enjoy!

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
Name seven colors you’d make the standard colors for M&Ms.

Either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered “first to play,” a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.) You may include this link in the URL space when leaving your comment, or in the comment itself. As long as it’s there in one spot or the other.

MY ANSWERS:
1. Maroon (Close enough to Garnet to satisfy the Gamecock in me)
2. Black (Well, USC is Garnet and Black…)
3. Dark Blue
4. Green
5. White
6. Gold
7. Brown (Not enthusiastic about this one, but it’s better than orange!)

“Breaking news” has been around far longer than just 45 years, but the concept of live, ongoing coverage of a developing story really got its start on this day in 1963, when an episode of As The World Turns on CBS was interrupted by a bulletin from CBS News anchor Walter Cronkite.

To call the coverage of John F. Kennedy’s assassination in Dallas primitive is an understatement; the first few bulletins were done as voiceovers with a “CBS News Bulletin” slide on the screen because no camera was warmed up in the news division’s studio.  Even after the cameras were warmed up, viewers saw hours of anchors sitting at desks relaying information from wire printouts and telephone calls that sometimes were heard on the air and sometimes weren’t.

There was no live camera along the parade route, and while videotape did exist and was in limited use in 1963, there were no field video camera in Dealey Plaza to record the shooting for endless playback.

We’ve come a long way in 45 years.  I’ll leave it to you to determine in which ways things are better or worse.  That should be an interesting discussion.