The older people get, the more they like to talk about “bucket lists,” compilations of things they hope to try before they “kick the bucket.”

I’ve never had one, and I really don’t feel a need to start one. There are only a few “exotic” things I’d like to do that I haven’t, and probably the biggest one is to be able to pet a dolphin.

That’s about as exotic as I get.

But there are plenty of other people who make up for my lack of luster with their own lists. Just search “Bucket List” on Google and you’ll quickly see what I mean.

So I figured I’d list 40 things (since that’s the magic number) that aren’t ever likely to be on my list.

1. Do stand-up comedy.
2. Learn some fancy dance move.
3. Own a Corvette.
4. Run a marathon.
5. Go Snow Skiing.
6. Swim with Sharks.
7. Ride the World’s Largest Roller Coaster.
8. Learn to Juggle.
9. Ride in the Tour de France
10. Meet Paris Hilton.
11. Go White Water Rafting.
12. Swim Across the English Channel.
13. Learn Karate
14. Ring in the New Year at Times Square.
15. Visit All 50 States.
16. Learn to Quilt.
17. Become a triathlete.
18. Get a PhD.
19. Be Chased by a Bull.
20. Go Water Skiing.
21. Be Time’s Person of the Year.
22. Have a Street Named After Me
23. Get Chased by Wild Animals on Safari.
24. Get Chased by Wild Animals in a Rainforest.
25. Take Singing Lessons
26. Run for Office.
27. Go Scuba Diving
28. Go to Medical School.
29. Ride in a Hot-Air Balloon
30. Fly Overseas.
31. Try Illegal Drugs.
32. Go Ice Skating
33. Get Drunk at Mardi Gras.
34. Climb Mt. Everest.
35. Set a World Record.
36. Go Completely, Totally Off the Power Grid.
37. Go Sky Diving.
38. Drive a Race Car.
39. Charter a Yacht.
40. Become a Vegetarian.

I’m sure I could come up with more. But maybe I’ll add ten more in 2019.