Over at Buzzle.com, I found an article about great gift ideas for guys turning 40.

Although I’m not so sure. The first paragraph talks about how the 40th birthday is an “exciting” moment and that it is celebrated with “great enthusiasm.”

So the site’s judgment is immediately in question before I ever get to the list. Just sayin’.

The list mentions that an “interesting” gift would be to give a wine bottle with a “turning” label. I had no idea what this meant, so I did a Google search and found references to wine bottles that could be ordered with labels that say “Turning Old” and can be personalized with the victim’s celebrant’s photo.

Then there’s the anniversary book, filled with clippings and photos of things that happened the year you were born. Mine would be filled with shots of men on the moon and shots of people at Woodstock who were stoned enough to believe that they were on the moon as well.

My favorite one — but not from an, “Oh, yeah, I want this” point of view — is the “gift basket” full of treats. They suggest filling it with things like pastries, fudge, chocolates and stationary. I’m suddenly reminded of Sesame Street: “One of these things is not like the other.” I’m also reminded of the bathroom scale, which, I’m reliably informed, stops showing the last hints of mercy on anyone once 40 rolls around.

The gift basket is probably not the best of ideas. Give it to the 20-year-olds. Fatten them up so those of us with extra tonnage at 40 won’t feel so bad.

The best gift isn’t on the list. It’s nowhere to be found.

But believe me…and you’ll just have to trust me on this: cash always works!