The Week’s Really Weird Stories

Tiger Woods managed to get into a one-car accident early Friday morning that left him barely conscious and completely incoherent right outside his own home at about 2:25 in the morning.

His wife heard the sound of his SUV crashing into a fire hydrant and a neighbor’s tree, rushed outside, and said she had to bust the rear window of the SUV to gain entry and pull him out. She broke the window with, of all things, a golf club.

Well, let’s face it: he’s probably got plenty of them lying around.

Police arrived on the scene of the accident to find the golfing sensation lying on the ground, going in and out of consciousness. He was in no condition to answer questions, so police agreed to come back to the home after he was released from the hospital.

Later that day, when they returned, his wife told officers that he was sleeping and asked to postpone the questioning until today. Today, they were asked to come back tomorrow.

Police said early on that they found no evidence that alcohol was involved in the accident. But there’s something very strange about a one-car accident where alcohol isn’t involved, where the injuries appear serious, yet the hospital treats and releases the victim in good condition, yet the victim can’t seem to muster enough strength to answer some simple questions from police.

Why do I get the feeling that Tiger might become the subject of a future episode of Forensic Files?

Then there was that infamous party crashing at President Obama’s first state dinner. A Virginia couple got inside, snapped pictures with lots of celebrities and Vice President Joe Biden and Obama himself, all without ever having been invited.

The couple’s attorneys have reportedly insisted that their clients did not crash the party.

This seems more than strange, too, since “crashing a party,” by definition, means to show up at a party without being invited. If the White House says they weren’t invited and the attorneys said they didn’t crash the party, then it sounds as if the attorneys are either trying to claim that the couple was invited (in which case they should produce their invitation), or operating under a misunderstanding of the meaning of “party crashing,” which has nothing to do with spoiling a party (in which case they should study the dictionary).

It’s been reported extensively that the motivation for showing up uninvited — assuming that they were uninvited — was to get at least the wife on a reality television show.

If breaking the law has now officially become a prerequisite for joining the cast of a reality television show, that’s a sign that someone needs to come to their senses and ban them from the airwaves.

Or maybe the producers of the shows need to be held equally accountable as the hopefuls who want to be cast in their productions.

I bet that’d stop all of this lunacy in a hurry.