Ford has announced new technology for some of its 2010 model cars that will allow parents to control the top speed of their teenagers’ cars.  As a bonus, they can also limit the volume of kiddies’ stereos and make the car send out constant alert chimes if the seatbelt isn’t getting used.

Nice idea.  Parents, I’m sure, are thrilled at the prospect.  Teens, I’m sure, hate the idea.

My opinion?  It’s a drop in the bucket.  Here’s a better idea:

Make the top speed in every car on the road 80 miles an hour.  I don’t know of anywhere in the country where it’s actually legal to go faster than that, anyway, and for many places, 80 is too fast.  So 80 should be it.  Period.  If 80 isn’t fast enough for you, hop on a plane.

Put a limit on the volume of the stereo on every car on the road.  If I can hear your music outside your car while you have your motor running and all windows sealed tight, it’s too loud.  I don’t care how much you want your mental screws vibrated loose by a strong beat; I shouldn’t have to listen to it with you.  And I assure you:  no one wants to sit through the wild potpourri of music on my iPod.  (The difference is that I don’t rudely and selfishly subject others to my tunes, and I think the world goes on fine without my doing so.)

Make that little seatbelt chime that insistent on every car on the road.  If you really want your teens to follow your orders about wearing a seatbelt, provided them with the advantage of being able to follow by example, not just by order.  Show them how much you personally think a seatbelt makes a difference for you, while you demand it of them.

If we really want to keep drivers safe, we need everyone on the same page, not just younger drivers who feel so cramped their first few years on the road that they spend them looking forward to “going full throttle” once the restrictions go away.

The Amethyst Initiative is designed to bring the debate over lowering the legal drinking age from 21 to 18 to the forefront in 2009. As hard as it may be to believe, educators from colleges across the country actually support dropping the drinking age.

They claim that doing so would curb the desire for binge drinking among their students. Opponents say that raising the drinking age created a drop in the number of drunken driving fatalities.

One of the typical arguments about why the drinking age should be lowered really ticks me off. It goes something like this:

“If an 18-year-old can join the military and die for his country, he ought to be able to drink.”

That is one of the stupidest lines of reasoning I’ve ever heard.

For one thing, the military teaches discipline and responsibility. Chugging a beer does not.

But let’s apply that same logic with a similar argument: one might argue that driving a car carries great responsibility. It certainly should be left to responsible people. In North and South Dakota, a driver with a beginner’s permit can legally drive alone as early as 14 1/2 years of age.

So if, by those states’ laws, someone 14 1/2 is legally-responsible enough to drive a car, why doesn’t that mean that he should be legally-responsible enough to be shipped overseas into a warzone and potentially die for his country?

If we’re going to compare totally unrelated things and pretend that they’re identical, then let’s go all out! The youngest age that any state suggests a child can do anything “grown up” ought to be the universal age at which he should be able to do all things “grown up,” right?

So forget about sending them to high school…just pluck them up right out of middle school and ship them off to a Quonset hut somewhere before they know what hit ‘em. And don’t forget to pack plenty of beer so they can take their minds off the irrational logic over why being able to do one thing ought to automatically mean being able to do something else that’s totally different.

Any parents out there jumping for joy at that thought? Didn’t think so. Because there’s a reason that different things are appropriate at different ages.

If I ever have kids and they want to attend a college that supports lowering the drinking age just because it doesn’t want to deal with educating its students about alcohol dangers or with enforcing alcohol rules on campus, I’d have a real hard time paying tuition there. They sure don’t sound capable of sending a good message to kids as far as I’m concerned.

I found this meme on driving green and I thought I’d give it a shot. I’d love to be able to afford a Prius, but I’m stuck with what I have, so I do what I can:

You Are a Fairly Green Driver

You driving isn’t the greenest, but it’s greener than most people.Whether you have a fuel efficient car or try not to speed, you try not to use a lot of gas.You do your best to drive less. However, it’s not always possible. You may end up driving more than you’d like, but at least you’re doing what you can!

How did you do?

South Carolina, my native state, leads the nation in something.

For those of you who haven’t figured it out by now, whenever South Carolina leads the nation in anything, it is almost always bad. When they trail behind all the other states, it’s usually for something good.

Here’s a perfect example. This time, South Carolina is #1 for drivers who send cell phone text messages while driving.

The study, according to the Post and Courier, was commissioned by a company that offers a solution to the problem. That particular solution, it turns out, is an application that allows people to record a voice message that will then be translated into a text message.

I trust that most people will immediately recognize the idiocy of such a plan.

Why not just plug in the headphones or your Bluetooth ear bob and just call the person?!? If you’re going to leave a voicemail that will have to be translated into a text message, why not just leave the voicemail and call it a day?

That’s if you absolutely positively can’t wait to make the call until you get where you’re going.

Personally, I have never understood the whole text message thing. I’ve sent maybe a dozen since I got my first cell phone years ago. They’re annoying. They take more time than just calling the person. And for most people, they require that ridiculous internet shorthand that almost takes a college course to decipher.

I’m not one of those who favor laws requiring people to stay off the cell phone while they’re driving, because there are legitimate times when you need to make a call. But text messaging ought to be against the law. If it isn’t already.

When it comes to driving, what we should be reaching out to touch is the steering wheel.