Here’s my weekly list of ten. Anyone else doing this? Anyone else thinking of doing it? Just askin’.

1. SOCIALLY-MALADJUSTED PSYCOPATHS: How’s that for an opening? This is how former waiter-turned-author Steve Dublanica describes about 20% of people who walk in to restaurants. He appeared on Today this morning to pitch his book, Waiter Rant, and admitted that one of his tactics for getting back at a rude customer was to employ a kind of biological warfare.

2. LIKE FATHER…: Luke Russert, the recent college graduate who impressed many when he appeared on television right after the death of his well-known dad, Tim, has joined NBC News. The younger Russert will cover “youth issues” during the 2008 election cycle. Can’t wait to see what issues they come up with.

3. PETS PUT OUT: In an ever-increasing world of foreclosures, local animal shelters are seeing a rise in the number of strays as families who are facing the loss of their homes try to cut costs by sending their pets packing. If I ever have to live out of my car, my dogs have dibs on the back seat.

4. NOW WHAT?: Two days ago, the House of Representatives issued an apology to black Americans for the “fundamental injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of slavery and Jim Crow” segregation. Forty-eight hours later, are race relations in this country any better at all?

5. FANCY FOOTWEAR: If Christopher Hayes were a right-wing blogger, he says, and found out that Barack Obama was wearing $520 shoes, he’d make sure everyone knew it. Here’s his take on the fact that the pricey shoes were on John McCain instead.

6. NEW PROMISE: A new drug shows promise for actually halting the progression of Alzheimer’s disease.

7. DOES ANYONE EVEN REMEMBER?: A sitcom from the 1970s that only lasted for eight episodes will come to DVD in October. Recall anything about it?

8. THREE-HOUR TOURS?: Would you go for a ride on the S.S. Minnow? You might have the chance, after a grocery store purchased the boat used in Gilligan’s Island for a promotional tour. How much luggage do you need for three hours?

9. THE BEST GAMES: Here’s a new list of the top 25 game shows. And I’m happy to admit that I fully agree with the pick for #1!

10. SEND SOME GOOD THOUGHTS: Please visit my pal Carly, of Ellipsis, who is going through a rough time, in part because of Ahhhnold himself and the bill he signed in California. Carly and I first crossed paths about four years ago, when this blog was still shiny and new. It still has a few shiny spots here and there, but not many, and Carly has stuck with me despite that. Please keep them in your thoughts.

Here’s my weekly list of ten. Anyone else doing this? Anyone else thinking of doing it? Just askin’.

1. GOOD GOOP?: Would you use this stuff on your computer keyboard? You might, says its maker, if you want a keyboard that’s free of dust and dirt…not to mention crumbs from all those meals you’ve eaten with your eyes glued to the screen.

2. COURIC CONSTANT: You know all those stories about Katie Couric insisting that she’s not leaving the CBS Evening News? She’s still insisting that she’s still not going.

3. TAKE A PEEK: Ever wonder what it’s like inside a Lego factory? Wonder no more.

4. SHOT THROUGH THE HEART: …and cutting edge medicine’s to blame. Harvard researchers are working on ways of injecting cells into the heart muscle as a replacement for heart surgery. Does this mean we can start eating those Outback cheese fries again?!?

5. TOO MUCH?: A pastor explains why he thinks Christians spend too much time studying the Bible.

6. TOO ARROGANT?: Then, the same pastor explains why excessive bible study produces arrogant Christians.

7. TRAGIC END: The man nicknamed the “Spam King” who escaped from federal prison won’t be sending out any more spams.

8. WALT’S NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS!: Part of the promotion of the Summer Olympics in Beijing, a city in China has erected some cartoon-like mice with holes in their giant ears. Odd.

9. THE NAME GAME: What should you expect if you’re a reporter who does investigative stories on the TSA, that organization designed to make flying safer? To find your name on their terror watch list, naturally.

10. YOUR FIRST TIME: Do you remember your first time? Get your minds out of the gutter, people! I mean your first time with Google! If you remember using the venerable search engine for the first time, including what you looked up that first time, you should go here and tell them all about it.

Here’s my weekly list of ten. Where’s yours?

1. IT’S ABOUT TIME: The Apple Store in New York City ran out of iPhones. But their sign contained an interesting misspelling.

2. GIL GOING: William Petersen is leaving CSI:, though producers insist fans haven’t seen the last of Gil Grissom. Meanwhile, the speculation is already underway over who should replace him.

3. TOO MUCH OF A GOD THING: I bet you thought you’d never see a pastor who says we pray too much. Think again.

4. TIME FOR SOME CAMPAIGNIN’: Have you seen JibJab’s newest?

5. LESS FREAKS?: Producers of The Jerry Springer Show say they’re going to offer less freaks and more conflict on the upcoming season. Rather than parading a boatload of crazies, they’ll have just a few crazies who’ll stay for the whole hour and focus on their problems. It’s what they did when the show started, before they realized how much of a ratings blockbuster it would be to have a boatload of crazies rather than just a few. Expect this to last about a week.

6. LEDGER’S LAST: The new Batman movie, Batman: The Dark Knight, will play in a record number of theaters. That means that I will be avoiding a record number of theaters during its run. Yes, it is Heath Ledger’s final film, but I just don’t care to see another Batflick. Even if this one, like all of the others, is the greatest Batman movie ever.

7. EMBARRASSING MISTAKE: Frantic police in Australia smashed a car window to rescue a baby…only to discover that the baby was actually an extremely lifelike doll. The dolls are manufactured to closely resemble newborns; in this case, they lived up to the manufacturer’s intent. Of course, police have no reason to be embarrassed: they were trying to do the right thing.

8. BAD STARTS: Author J.A. Konrath offers some advice on how not to begin a story.

9. THE TRUE BREW: Why would NASA ask its astronauts for lots and lots of urine samples? Because only the real thing will do.

10. COFFEE CHAOS: In the spirit of saving the best for last, here’s the story of a man who just wanted three shots of espresso, iced. He asks for it, is told it’s against the coffee shop’s policy because it doesn’t “preserve the integrity of the coffee.” He gets mad, deals with it, writes a blog post. The coffee shop then responds. With some back-and-forth, including an update in which the blogger admits returning to the same coffee store and ordering a different coffee drink that features ice, water and four shots of espresso, even The Washington Post decided to mention the dispute and the bigger problem of blogs and dealing with conflicts. (This reminds me: Have I mentioned my recent problem with Bank of America?) Maybe we all need a little less caffeine.

Here’s another set of 10 Enjoy!

1. HOW THE WEB WAS WON: Ever wonder how the World Wide Web began? Yeah, yeah, insert your Al Gore joke here…then click over to have a gander at the very first server ever connected to the web. By today’s standards, it’s a miracle it ever went anywhere.

2. BATTY BOSOM: There’s something very wrong with this story. How anyone could go for five hours without realizing a bat was curled up in their undergarments, then smile holding the garment in question loaded with a plastic bat (for demonstration purposes only, of course)…well, it boggles the mind.

3. DEFEAT THE INBOX: Ready to win a war? Just clean out your inbox by responding to all pending email and deleting the rest, take a picture of yourself with the screen, and you’re ready to be the next person featured on Inbox Victory. Sorry, if I actually completed the gargantuan task of cleaning out my inbox, I’d want a lot better prize than a picture of me!

4. GARDEN GHOUL: For about $90, you can have a member of the undead sprouting from your shrubbery. The sculpture will probably keep young children away…until they realize it isn’t really a zombie. Then they’ll call their friends over.

5. CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF…: Here’s one to make the TV haters spill their coffee: a new report says that television viewing not only went up last May from the previous year, but that we’re now watching more TV — on actual television sets and the internet combined — than ever. And yet somehow we still can’t find something on that’s “worth watching.”

6. DVD PICK: Coming in September: Game Show Moments Gone Bananas, a collection of wild and crazy game show moments from the U.S. and U.K. The series, which was five episodes in length, was unfortunately hosted by Ben Stein, who isn’t a tenth as funny as he seems to think he is in this piece, and, also unfortunately, saw fit to interrupt what should have been a constant stream of hilarious moments with skits in which Stein’s studio audience got the chance to do embarrassing stunts from Beat the Clock or answer Family Feud questions that led to screwball answers from others. Not to future game show clip show producers: just play the clips. That’s what we want to see. Still, the bloopers and dumb answers are still worth the paltry $15 asking price.

7. IRAN HAS THE RIGHT IDEA: No, really:  did you hear the one about their missile test not running quite as planned in Iran, resulting in a edited image showing an extra missile being launched?  I think they’ve got something here.  Why don’t we just take a map of the Middle East, and use Photoshop to add our soldiers in?  Then we can bring the real troops home and the enemy will be intimidated by the power of the image itself.  Who cares if it’s true:  a picture’s worth a thousand words, right?

8. NEVER A VERB: Yes, I was tempted, in that last item, to just say, “Why don’t we just take a map of the Middle East and photoshop our soldiers in?”  Adobe, who owns the Photoshop brand, gets irate when you do that, because in turning their trademark into a verb, you are threatening its legal status.  What they want you so say, in fact, would be, “Why don’t we just take a map of the Middle East and use Adobe® Photoshop® software to add our soldiers in?”  That’s going a long way to make a point.

9. ADOBE ISN’T THE ONLY ONE: When you do a web search, many people would claim they’re “googling” someone even if they’re using the Yahoo® brand search engine.  Google (also an ®) gets ticked off about that, too, and has been urging people to avoid using their brand name as a verb, and especially when you’re talking about search engines in general as opposed to their specific brand’s engine.

10. WORTH-LESS: You’re worth as much as you think you are.  At least, that’s true if you took to heart what the Environmental Protection Agency said about you five years ago.  Back then, the EPA suggested that an American life was worth about $7.8 million.  Today, that has dropped to $6.9 million.  It’s important because such estimates are used to help decide the affordability of certain programs.  I just wish I could convince my bosses about that $6.9 million figure.

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

As promised, Ten On… returns this week after taking a week off. And I begin with an item I would have thought everyone would love…until I read about the controversy.

1. FIDO FLAP: There’s a cute little puppy on a police poster card designed to educate the public about a new non-emergency number that is available. Said puppy is sitting on a police officer’s cap and next to a yellow telephone. If you like puppies, you’d love the ad (even if you wonder what the puppy has to do with anything). But there is controversy brewing. Muslims apparently consider dogs to be unclean animals, and some say they are offended by the ad. (A hatred of dogs would preclude me from ever becoming Muslim.) Actually, offended doesn’t quite do it: some say they are actually outraged. Seriously. It’s a puppy. Sitting on a hat. By the way, if you’re still wondering why the puppy was used, the article goes on to explain that it is a police dog-to-be that has become something of a local celebrity in the area. That, at least, explains a little about why they’d use the puppy at all.

2. THE OTHER DIRECTION: Like me, Mrs. L is tired of hearing people calling for the drinking age to be lowered to 18. If you’re of that age, you’ll be horrified to learn what she’d recommend. If you’re a bit older and wiser, you’ll likely agree with what she has to say.

3. THEY’RE SERIOUS ABOUT THE DOG THING: I found this mention from February of a 70-year-old man being sentenced to four months in prison and 30 lashes for walking his dog in public in Iran. It goes back to item #1 and Muslims considering dogs to be ritually unclean. Morality laws forbid a dog owner from walking a dog in public. Here’s what I don’t understand: if dogs are so reprehensible, why does the law stop at walking a dog in public? Why can you own one at all? Even if you only ever keep it indoors and walk it in a fully-enclosed backyard so your neighbors don’t see it, why would they allow you to own one, anyway?

4. DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE: Finally, a politician who puts his mouth where his own personal commitment is! Texas State Rep. Warren Chisum is pushing a bill that would require a two-year wait for divorce for couples who refuse to sek marriage counseling. It’s nice to see a law designed to rescue the institution from the mediocre track record all of those man-woman couplings have created through history. It’s even nicer to see that the person pushing such a bill isn’t accused of signaling for sex in an airport restroom or being a client of a high-priced madam. Chisum, in fact, is just a few months away from celebrating his 51st wedding anniversary. Maybe…just maybe…he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to staying together.

5. AS EXPECTED…: Since tomorrow is July 4th, a major day for fireworks; and since I work in television, I would be remiss if I didn’t show you a watermelon being blown up by fireworks to demonstrate how dangerous these little fire sticks are. From two angles, yet. Enjoy. (And please do not try this at home.)

6. GONE TO THE DOGS: I return to an earlier topic, but this time at Baptists’ expense. Ever hear the one about the Baptist dog?

7. JUST SO YOU KNOW: Why, yes, it did offend me that the previous link did not contain proper capitalization at the start of each sentence. The joke was surely not written by e.e. cummings, or even E.E. Cummings, so there was no reason for such laziness in transcribing it for the web. While I choose to be offended — and only long enough to finish typing this item — I do not choose to allow myself to become full-on outraged. But maybe that’s just me. In any case, I’m over it now.

8. WHAT’S ON ‘EM?: Here’s a figure that seems too outrageous to even be accurate: 12,000 laptop computers are lost each week in the nation’s airports. Twelve thousand per week!! And only about 30% of those who lose their laptops ever recover them. It begs a question: what is on these missing desktops, particularly those being transported by businessmen? Are there more security risks out there than we realize? It certainly seems like a danger for our private information, but then again, since many such losses are never even reported, I guess we’ll never know for sure.

9. NOT ADDING UP: Dave Moulton recently asked some questions about bicycle helmets and safety at his terrific Bike Blog. Ninety-six percent of those who responded feel that helmets offer at least some protection in an accident; of that number, 18% say they think helmets actually save lives. Yet of the same group of people who voted, 86% say helmets should be a personal choice and not mandated by law. Being “free to choose” is one thing, but if you’ve ever walked into a hospital’s intensive care unit to find a family member lying in a near coma after falling from a bike and suffering massive head trauma, you might wonder why there’s such a disconnect between the belief that helmets do good things and that they shouldn’t be required wear. Not that I’d wish such an experience on anyone. But as someone who has seen what a lack of helmet can accomplish, I can’t understand why people wouldn’t want the protection.

10. BYE BYE, BOZO: Children of all ages are mourning the death of actor Larry Harmon, who died at age 83.  Name doesn’t ring a bell? His character will:  Harmon played Bozo the Clown for 52 years.  His wife says he was the love of her life and that he was the perfect one to play the clown:  “He was the most optimistic man I ever met. He always saw a bright side; he always had something good to say about everybody.”  What I somehow missed was a 2004 controversy that resulted in the Clown Hall of Fame (I am not making this up!) took down a plaque honoring the actor.  Read here to find out why.  R.I.P., Larry, and thanks for entertaining the clown in all of us.

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

For those worried that I would forget, I’m happy to prove you wrong with another collection of ten weekly links. You’re welcome to post ten of your own, and link here if you do!

1. ARE YOU PRIVILEGED?: Over at Kidswriter’s Blog, there’s a test to determine how privileged you are. It’s one of those lists where you publish the entire thing, then set the individual items that apply to you in bold type. There are some items on the list that seem a little questionable to me: for example, item 33 reads,“Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.” While I’d certainly agree that there is much to be gained through an appreciation of art and history, there are many museums that charge nothing to visit, and some parents that “dump” their kids there to get them out of the house without any regard that they gain anything in an intellectual way. How privileged are you?

2. CHOKING AT THE PUMP: Leaving soon from a gas station near you, the last of the old mechanical pumps, because their gears don’t go higher than $3.99 per gallon, and therefore aren’t able to handle $4.00+ gas. I remember a time when I was little — in the late seventies — when a similar situation occurred: gas pumps were set to display half the price, and the purchase amount was doubled when it came time to pay. Of course, these were also in the days when “full service” was still alive and well. Maybe the Smithsonian could give these poor pumps a home.

3. LEAPIN’ LIZARDS: I distinctly remember in the 1980s watching in horror as a national newscast ran a story about Lizard Man, a strange phenomenon much like Bigfoot, only reptilian. This creature was supposedly responsible for damage to homes and vehicles and had a community in terror. The story ended with a clip of an interview in a Lizard Man enthusiast who hoped to lure the elusive creature into the spotlight — and thereby earn a book deal with film rights — by wearing a hat and outfit made of tin foil. When the reporter asked about her odd costume, she justified it by saying, “Well, they say he likes chrome.” No, I am not making that up. In any case, all these years later, the Lizard Man myth has been debunked. Ol’ Lizzie is more likely Ol’ Yeller according to forensic experts, who analyzed DNA supposedly left by the creature and determined that it came from a dog. Wonder if Fido likes chrome.

4. LEAPIN’ DOGS:: In answer to that last question, tin foil is potentially a danger for dogs. Keep your Fido away from the tin foil. And have your pets spayed or neutered.

5. VENGEANCE, SAYETH THE WALL: A vandal tried to take down a wall. Wall has the last laugh.

6. SAYS WHO?: How many times have you heard someone say that God has told them to do something? Does it make you cringe? There are some people who say it should. But when one of them is a pastor, that’s a good reason to read what he has to say.

7. SING-ALONG: It’s the world’s most frequently-sung song and generates $2 Million dollars in royalties to its copyright holder. But a George Washington University Law School Professor says enough is enough, and he’s assembling proof once and for all that “Happy Birthday to You” is in the public domain.

8. THUMBTACK BARACK: This week’s “Too Much Time on Their Hands Award” goes to the people who made a picture of Barack Obama out of thumbtacks. One for each delegate. Wow.

9. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT?: Internet addiction is a legitimate problem that should be labeled a “clinical disorder.” British psychologists suggest as many as 10 percent of online users are internet addicts, and the symptoms are disturbing. Ready to go to a meeting?

10. A POSTER’S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: Here is a list of the greatest movie posters. Do you agree with the top pics?

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

This week’s edition of Ten On is a little different: I’m happy to present, for your viewing pleasure, ten video clips from YouTube that are worth a look.

1. DOWN THEY GO: When is runway video from a fashion show funny enough to break up two anchors? When it looks like this:

Who wears orange with pink, anyway?

2. BUDDHA BLESS YOU: This is a classic scene from the classic sitcom All in the Family in which the family debates what the Chinese might say when someone sneezes:

The funniest thing is, Archie is right: one way or another, while talking to the two men in his hypothetical scenario, Meathead would ask enough questions to get the answer he’s looking for. I just doubt he’d phrase it quite the way Archie did.

3. LAUGHING BABY: I dare you to keep a straight face while you watch this one:

Couldn’t do it, could you?

4. BROKE HER WHAT?: You’ve all seen the famous clip from The Price is Right featuring the excited contestant in the tube top. Here’s a different wardrobe malfunction:

5. FEELING NO PAIN: Adam recently played the Sunday Seven for the first time, and when I went to his blog, I found some videos he has produced on YouTube. This one, which analyzes an Aleve commercial cracked me up:

My favorite line: “I don’t think he’s taking Aleve.”

6. …AND TAKING NAMES: A three-year-old who may have seen one action movie too many:

At least the mom did point out that there was a better word to use.

7. ANGRY ANCHOR: In the 1970s and early 1980s, Jessica Savich was a well-respected anchor on NBC News. But this wasn’t a good night because the stage manager, the person who is supposed to give talent their time cues to make sure they’re finished on time, wasn’t where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be there. This did not air…it was leading up to the live NBC News Update, but it’s nice to know that problems happen even at the Network level.

I love the line, “This is prime time television, here, folks!”

8. ROUGH RIDE: Here’s a blooper from the legendary Carol Burnett Show in which Tim Conway, playing his little old man character, is supposed to crash through a breakaway wall to escape a hospital room. But the wheelchair, which has been weighted down so he can ride on the front legs of it, can’t get traction on the slick studio floor. Hillarity ensues:

As promised, he finally got it.

9. BUT HE GOT A LAUGH: What do you do when you tell joke after joke that no one gets? If you’re Johnny Carson, you do this:

I still miss Johnny

10. GOLLY, HOLLY: Here’s one more clip from The Price is Right, which features Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration” instead of the regular theme during the credits. (It’s cool these days to actually see a credit roll.) Barker’s original Beauties get a little too “into” the tune, and for Holly (in the black gown), long before Janet and Justin’s “wardrobe malfunction,” there’s a near disaster.

Game show fans will also recognize the late great Johnny Olson, the greatest announcer in the business. That clip, incidentally, was from 1981.

Hope you enjoyed this all-video edition of Ten On.  Have any clips you’d like to nominate?

Time for ten more random links from around the world:

1. STICKING STUBBORNLY: Last week, Entertainment Tonight, which used to be a watchable, informative program before it became a tabloid piece of crap, reported breathlessly the EXCLUSIVE that Angelina Jolie’s twins had been born. Jolie’s legal representatives say that someone impersonating Jolie’s assistant — who claimed to be in the delivery room for the births, yet — misled several news organizations, including ‘ET.’ ET, oddly enough, is refusing to back down; its executive producer said they are “waiting to see how the story plays out.” It’s an odd strategy for any program that wants to convince its viewers that it is in any way journalistically ethical, but then again, barring the unforeseen, Jolie will eventually give birth to twins, and ET will then be able to say they reported it first, even before it actually happened.

2. THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR…: …is a poor start to what could be a good horror anthology series. NBC debuts Fear Itself tonight, although this early review says that of the first three episodes, the first is the weakest. In the old days, television shows used to get several airings with less-than-excellent ratings before the networks gave up. Nowadays, some shows disappear after a single bad outing. If NBC scheduled the best of the first three episodes third, one has to wonder why. Still, I plan to watch. If it isn’t any good, I still have classic episodes of the Twilight Zone to fall back on.

3. STRANGE HIDING PLACE: Chris of Signal 46 pointed to this oddball story recently: a man noticed food was disappearing inexplicably inside his home, only to find the culprit hiding in a closet. But if you’re thinking he had a pesky mice, think much, much bigger.

4. DID YOU REALLY MISS THEM?: Two of Chuck Barris’s most famous game shows are gearing up for comebacks. The Dating Game and The Newlywed Game are being remade for GSN, formerly the Game Show Network and now just GSN. Comcast recently relocated GSN up to the digital tier, its way of charging more money to get the channel. As much as I love game shows, I like eating dinner more, so I no longer have GSN. I will not, however, miss seeing these remakes. I was never a fan of either show.

5. T M I: Before looking at the clip I am about to link to, you know know that an IFB is one of those earpieces reporters and interviewees wear so they can hear the questions from the studio. IFB stands for interruptible feedback. That’s just a bit of TV trivia. This link is a clip of Brian Williams telling a quick story to his studio crew as he’s preparing for his newscast. It’s a disgusting story. Really. But now that you’ve been warned, if you really, really want to see it, go here.

6. TROUBLE IN NON-PARADISE: “Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.” Just don’t remind the crew from the reality show Survivor about their witty little slogan. They’re in the midst of a string of problems at the location for their next round of production. One of the issues is that shipments to the location have been delayed by a month, which means they’re having to stay in tents instead of a building. Finally, they get a real taste of what they put their contestants through!

7. LONG LIFE: There’s definitely a medical thriller in here somewhere: scientists have discovered a new ultra-small species of bacteria that has survived for more than 120,000 years two miles below the surface of ice in a Greenland glacier. I hope they keep it contained: I suspect there’s no vaccine or antibiotic developed for something that old and apparently that well-hidden.

8. HAPPY LEANING: The Leaning Tower of Pisa is free to lean without worry for at least another three centuries. A multi-million dollar construction project stabilized the structure, which likely would have toppled by 2040 without assistance. Built in 1178, it took just five years for the leaning to begin, so I suppose it’s a miracle it hadn’t already fallen over.

9. PREVENTING ESCAPE: So you run a nursing home populated by Alzheimer’s patients who are likely to try to get away and back to their homes. What do you do to foil their attempts and buy yourself a little more time to find them when they do get away? Simple: do this.

10. BATHROOM BIRDIE: In Japan, women tend to hate the idea of anyone being able to hear them using the bathroom. So the Oto-Hime comes to the rescue with a chirping sound that masks any sounds. It’s sort of an environmentally-friendly idea, because before its introduction, women would simply flush the toilet multiple times to hide the sounds, which naturally wasted lots of water. Click here to see a demonstration of the device in action. Can you imagine?

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

It’s Thursday…just two days away from the weekend.  I don’t know about you, but I’m already ready for one!

But before we can get to the weekend, we have to get through 10 more miscellaneous items that I hope will surprise and entertain.  If you are inspired to come up with a list of your own, not that I’m expecting anyone to start now, please leave a link to your post in the comments!

1. HOW COOL IS THIS?: My birthday’s in November, and I hope to be a good bit lighter by then…but if all goes well, then I might have to take a break from the diet and invest in one of these cakes. Imagine the fun of pretending to be a Klingon or Romulan and slicing up Captain Kirk’s bridge as his valiant crew runs for their very lives. Of course, they would all survive; they’d have to make it to the first motion picture ten birthday cakes later.

2. GOODBYE, MR. HAGEN: What makes a composer successful? Is it a big bank account, the respect of his peers, or having created a tune that is practically everyone not only knows, but can hum (or whistle along with). Earle Hagen was just such a composer, and he passed away Monday at 88. Hagen composed the legendary themes of That Girl, The Dick Van Dyke Show, I Spy, and Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. Then there’s that little tune that Hagen himself whistled as a father and son walked to their favorite fishing hole: the theme to The Andy Griffith Show. If any music could put a smile on your face, his was it.

3. THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR (ON TV): NBC is developing a new horror anthology series. Fear Itself will debut on June 5th, as part of the network’s push for year-round original programming…something all networks should have been doing for decades now. Will you watch?

4. DIET DNA: Diet Coke, easily the best diet soft drink ever invented, is in the process of dropping an ingredient that has been linked to DNA damage and hyperactivity in children. If the damage the DNA received affected the body’s ability to store fat, I bet no one would have complained.

5. FORGOT SOMETHING?: I love this story. Really. It’s hilarious and outrageous at the same time and it goes like this: a Customs drug screening team was working to make sure their drug sniffing dogs could correctly sniff out the luggage with 124 grams of hashish. The only problem is that they misplaced the luggage with the hidden hashish. Apparently, whoever owned it — one of 283 passengers on a plane traveling from Hong Kong to Narita — got to their bags before the dogs did. What makes it even worse is that the owner of the bad had no idea the illegal stash is there. Can you imagine getting stopped somewhere else and having another set of customs officials find what the first set lost? Think they’d buy the hapless passenger’s plea of innocence?

6. COUNTDOWN TO DIGITAL: Nine months and all’s not well for television households in America. In February, as you probably have heard, television broadcasting is switching from analog to digital. If you subscribe to cable or satellite, you have nothing to worry about, as long as your service doesn’t go out. If you depend on an antenna or receive a signal over the air without one, and your television set doesn’t have a new digital tuner, you’re going to be out of luck. No picture. No sound. Nada. A new report by Nielsen Media Research, (the ratings people) predicts that 25 million homes have at least one television set that will stop functioning and that 10 million are “completely unready” for the switch. Go to dtv2009.gov to read up on what you need to do to make sure you’re not one of them.

7. THE BIG COMEBACK: You knew it had to happen sooner or later. The recession — or whatever euphemism the current administration is coming up with these days — is being blamed for increased sales of Spam. Not the unwanted email, that ham-like lunch meat in the can. The butt of jokes for decades, its new gains in sales is proof of one thing: when money’s tight, shoppers are not willing to put their money where their mouth is.

8. BUT SHE HAD NO POCKETS!: A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man’s home, while his wife was away. The man allegedly hired the woman from the internet and paid $100 an hour for her to clean in the buff. When the man’s wife got home, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing. Talk about hubby being in the doghouse!

9. RAY RAZZED: A commercial featuring hyper Rachel Ray pitching Dunkin’ Donuts coffee has been pulled after a controversy over what she’s wearing. Ray is shown in an outdoor setting wearing a gray V-neck top and a cream, black and silver scarf with tassels along the edges. A commentator on Fox News remarked that the scarf looked like a kiffiyeh, a Middle Eastern accessory popularized by Yassir Arafat and Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos. Dunkin’ Donuts pulled the ad, and actually assured the public that no symbolism for terrorists was intended. As if anyone should be stupid enough to believe otherwise.  Seriously, people: it’s Dunkin’ Donuts. They’re trying to sell a cup of coffee. Who comes up with this stuff?!?

10. WARDROBE MALFUNCTION?: A new political commercial for John McCain shows a voter wearing a Barack Obama shirt. I’m sure Fox News will label her a terrorist as well.

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

Here is another collection of online oddities.  You’re welcome to post ten of your own, and link here if you do!

1. “SLOG” WORKS FOR ME: Few things online aggravate me more than a blog that hasn’t been updated for years, is apparently abandoned without so much as a goodbye, and just left there to take up space unnecessarily. I’m not talking about long-running blogs from people who’ve had a lot to say but have passed on; I’m talking about short-lived blogs from people with next to nothing to say and who are too lazy to just hit the delete button and remove their share of internet clutter. Over at Lost Remote, there’s an important question: What do you call these little abandoned blogs? What’s your favorite choice?

2. WRIST INFECTION: It may look cool, but it has to be one of the most tiresome watches ever invented when it comes to deciphering what time it is. I’m talking about the Infection Watch which simulates the growth of bacteria in a Petri dish. The red LEDs indicate the hour, the yellows indicate the minutes in multiples of five, and the greens indicate individual minutes. By the time you finish counting, it’s at least a minute later than when you started.

3. PARKING SHOWDOWN: Two Colorado men got into a fight — with Tasers, yet! — over a parking place. Apparently, a security employee clamped a metal boot on a car, and the resulting argument ended with lots of zapping. Said a police officer, “It was a just kind of a bonehead deal.”

4. PHOTO FINISH: A school asks a yearbook company to make adjustments in the student photos. The school requested that the photo company make every student’s head the same size and have their eyes at the same level as everyone else. (Seriously?? A school took time away from actually educating students to think this up?!?) But someone goofed, either accidentally or accidentally on purpose. Not only were some heads placed on different bodies, “some necks were stretched, one girl’s arm was missing, and another girl’s head was placed on what appeared to be a nude body, with the chest blurred.” What a class reunion they’re going to have one day. Maybe by then, they’ll all think it’s funny.

5. GONE TO POT: The last time I passed a vending machine, candy and potato chips cost anywhere from fifty to seventy-five cents. But when you’re caught up in the munchies, apparently you’ll even part with the pot that got you there. A New Zealand man offered to pay for some M&Ms and chips with marijuana. And a pipe to smoke it with. He should have checked the parking lot first.

6. CAUSE AND EFFECT?: McDonald’s has announced that its french fries are now being cooked in trans-fat-free Canola oil. At the same time, its stock price dropped a few cents. Is Wall Street resenting the healthier change? Only time will tell. In the meantime, have a french fry.

7. A WING AND A PRAYER: We now return to New Zealand, where pilots who found themselves in mid-air and out of gas started praying. A reasonable tactic. But wait’ll you hear what they landed next to!

8. COSTLY CUP: I don’t know what’s worse: a cup of coffee that costs $100, or what happened to the beans to get the price so high.

9. STILL SMILING?: What’s the cost of a nice smile? For a woman in Utah, it was almost her home. Somehow, a collections agency seeking payment of a $68 dental bill managed to get her home sold right out from under her without her even finding out for two years. This happened back in 1996. She has spent the last 12 years in ongoing legal battles to try to get her home back. Lesson: pay your dental bill before the dentist starts frowning.

10. JOKES JUST WAITING TO HAPPEN: There is potentially no end to the number of nerd jokes this one will inspire. An “Interactive Telecommunications” student has created a virtual girlfriend. No further comment necessary…just go see for yourself.

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

For those worried that I would forget, I’m happy to prove you wrong with another collection of ten weekly links. You’re welcome to post ten of your own, and link here if you do!

1. ARTISTIC NUDES?: Photographer Spencer Tunick brought 1,800 people to Austria’s Happel Stadium with nudity in mind. It was for a series of photos he described as combining “the spirit of sports, the grand sweeping waves of stadium architecture and the abstract relation of the human form to modern structures.” “Oh, and photographing a lot of naked people sure does get you a lot of attention,” he did not add.

2. DOES HE ALWAYS GET THIS WAY?: Okay, okay…I don’t watch those commentary shows on the cable news channels, so I honestly have no idea of the political leanings of people like Hannity and Colmes. I saw a link to a rant by Keith Olbermann that turned out to be a tirade in two parts. Here’s part 1. Then, here’s part 2. Is he always like this? He’s gonna pop a vessel.

3. TOO COOL TO BE POINTLESS: Since iPhones can do anything, why not turn them retro with a rotary phone option? Someone has designed the interface to make it happen. Would you use it?

4. BIG APPLE MELTDOWN: A New York City anchorwoman has apologized for dropping the f-bomb during a live news promo that she thought was being taped. Later in that night’s late news, she offered this in the way of an apology: “While we were live just after 10 o’clock, I said a word that many people find offensive. I am truly sorry. It was a mistake on my part, and I sincerely apologize.” There aren’t many anchors who can make such a blatant mistake and still have a job the next morning. She appears to be one of the few. One of the basic rules of television is that you make sure you never say anything you wouldn’t want broadcast anywhere near a microphone. You never know when it’s on the air, and it will always be on at the worst possible moment.

5. WHO KNEW?: So there’s this wildly popular show called American Idol. How old is the typical AI viewer? Give up? Get ready to be surprised.

6. JUST WHAT WAS MISSING: Coming soon to a tombstone near you: barcodes. Why not? They’re on everything else. These particular barcodes can be scanned by cell phones and the phones will receive photos, biographical information about the dearly departed. I can’t decide if this is a good idea or not. Something about seems a little creepy to me.

7. IMPERFECT STORM: The National Hurricane Center has some ‘splainin’ to do after this week’s storm advisory which appeared out of the blue. The good news was that the Carolinas were not under a Hurricane Warning. The bad news is that they were testing software when the now-outdated story made its way to media outlets hither and yon.

8. NEED A LITTLE LIGHT?: Just install one of these. That’s right, you, too, can have a skylight in any room of your home, even in the basement. These backlit fake skylights are designed to mimic what you’d see in a real skylight. A nifty idea when there’s nothing to look at other than an empty ceiling. It sure beats counting ceiling tiles.  (Link corrected.)

9. NEED A LITTLE LIGHT FOR A LONG TIME?: When does a light bulb generate more than light? When it has been burning continuously for 107 years. The Livermore, California Fire Department Station No. 6 is the home of a low-watt light bulb that has made the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s longest-burning bulb. The firefighters are quite protective of the novelty: “Touch it,” jokes one captain, and “you’ll get your fingers chopped off.”

10. OFFER YOU CAN’T REFUSE?: Think you could make $5,000 from your bed? Get your minds out of the gutter! NASA is looking for people who are willing to basically stay in bed for 90 straight days. This could be a dream job. And for your trouble, they’re willing to pay $17,000. The reason? To learn more about the body and the effects of extended space travel, which are similar to the effects of being in bed for a long period of time. The effects, incidentally, can be particularly serious. Yep, knew there had to be a catch.

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

Here’s another edition of ten random items found in the weekly blogjog.

You’re welcome to post ten of your own, and link here if you do!

1. NOT YOUR TYPICAL NAME CHANGE: An Illinois man is petitioning the courts to allow him to change his name to “In God We Trust.” Steve Kreuscher says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him in tough times. I suspect there’s a much better way than this.

2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY…NOT!: Did you celebrate last Friday? One of those famous things we love to hate turned 30. I’m talking about spam…not the mysterious meat product but the annoying email. Believe it or not, the first spam message was sent to a mere 393 users on May 2, 1978. Each of the addresses had to be typed in manually. I suspect if that was still the case, our spam folders would be relatively free of clutter.

3. THE FUTURE OF TELEVISION: In 15 years, says NBC boss Ben Silverman, we won’t be using television for very much except launching new shows or watching “big event” shows like American Idol and the Super Bowl. Over at TV Squad, an excellent point is made about this prophecy: “If NBC wants us to go online to see the final scene of a TV show, then we’re going to change the channel and watch something else. I don’t want to have to work to get my entertainment.” And digging up a show online is still work. Not to mention those evil commercials that you can’t fast forward or skip through to get back to your show. With all the sales of HDTV sets, I don’t think television is on its last legs just yet.

4. VERY DISTURBING: Warning: this is not your usual coatrack. It’s made of doll parts, but still…there’s something just…wrong. See for yourself.

5. FORTY-FIVE QUESTIONS: Carly’s got a new meme over at her blog, Ellipsis…Suddenly Carly. Go forth and answer.

6. HELP THE HUNGRY: This Saturday, May 10th, you can help your local food bank keep its shelves stocked by placing canned goods or other non-perishable food items in your mailbox. Your local letter carrier will collect the food when your mail is delivered. Every can (or other nonperishable item) helps. It’s an easy way to help the less fortunate with almost no effort involved. We all have something in our pantry that we can donate. If you don’t, you have three days to go to the store and buy something.

7. BACKSCATTERING: Lately, particularly at work, I’ve been getting email errors advising me that emails I sent out couldn’t be delivered. Trouble is, the emails identified have subject lines advertising low-cost watches, Viagra and similar messages that indicate the emails in question were clearly spam. I’ve certainly never sent a spam message…so has my account somehow been hacked? No, say the experts: I’ve just received a bit of “backscattering.” Well that explains that, doesn’t it? Here…read more.

8. SOBERING REALIZATION: Have you ever had a moment, right in the middle of a conversation, when a thought hits that just completely derails your entire train of thought? It happened to me earlier, when I was having a brief conversation with an 18-year-old the other day when, without any warning, the thought struck me that at 38, I am more than twice his age. I then remembered what I thought about someone that close to 40 when I was his age. It wasn’t a happy moment in my day.

9. GOOD NEWS FOR KATIE…FINALLY: Don’t get too excited, though. After two weeks in a row of posting its lowest ratings since they were first measured in 1987, viewership of the CBS Evening News edged up slightly. The article also reveals that in a new USA Today/Gallup poll, 46 percent of respondents said Couric should not be replaced. Where are these people when the broadcast is on the air and Nielsen is counting?

10. GOING WITH THE WIND: Something special has happened in the town of Rock Port, Missouri. The small town went from consuming an average of 13 gigawatts hours of electricity to producing 16 gigawatts hours on its own. It is the first 100% wind-powered city in the country, and is living proof that energy efficiency — even energy independence — can be done.

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?

Here’s another edition of ten random items found in the weekly blogjog.

You’re welcome to post ten of your own, and link here if you do!

1. NOW WE GET IT: Today is the fifth anniversary of that famous scene with President Bush standing beneath the big “Mission Accomplished” banner, and the White House is finally getting around to explaining what that message really meant: Spokesperson Dana Perino said, “President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific, and said, ‘Mission Accomplished For These Sailors Who Are On This Ship On Their Mission’. And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner. And I recognize that the media is going to play this up again…as they do every single year.” Wonder why.

2. WRITING REWRITTEN HISTORY: Of course, this isn’t the first time the White House has tried to supply a rational explanation for “Mission Accomplished.” Just last year, Perino insisted that “we did prevail.” Which do you believe.

3. GOING UP?: You get in the elevator and push the close door button because you feel it’s not moving fast enough. But you’re wasting your time. The Close Door button doesn’t really work with the exception of one specific instance, and that’s not the one you’re in. There is also a limit to how high an elevator can be. These and other things you never knew about elevators can be found here. Now you can amaze your friends.

4. NEW HOPE IN THE LAB: Scientists have found what could be a serious breakthrough in stopping the spread of HIV. Researchers have managed to block HIV infection in the test tube, which could destroy the virus’s ability to dodge anti-HIV drugs. Let’s hope. This would be a nice one to do away with.

5. DISTURBING: The Montana Meth Project is determined to alert people to the dangers of the drug meth. A series of ads drive that point home, in a manner that’s almost as disturbing as the reality of a meth user’s addiction. Which one hits you the hardest? I think “Mother” and “Lipstick” are particularly rough to view.

6. PROTESTING HOW?: A newly-featured blogger over at Lowcountry Blogs, Jeff Tompkins, reported on a protest of record fuel prices by a convoy of truckers who drove to Washington. He had the line of the week: “Isn’t driving huge trucks around to protest gas prices a little bit like PETA protesting meat-eating by, I don’t know, eating hamburgers?”

7. HOW LOW CAN SHE GO?: You have heard this one before: a week after the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric posted its lowest ratings ever, they’ve dropped even lower for the week of April 21. Katie is staying, according to her bosses at CBS. Wonder how long the insistence will go on if the rating slump also goes on.

8. MONTANA MEMOIR REVISITED: Just last week, in this same slot, I pointed out a story about Miley Cyrus, better known as “Hannah Montana,” planning to write her memoir at 15. “How long can the memoir be?” I seem to remember having asked. I guess the photo shoot controversy for Vanity Fair came just at the right time. She can probably get several chapters out of that fiasco!

9. DROP ZONE: In the town of Solapur in India, Muslims have been engaging in a bizarre practice for hundreds of years: they drop their babies from a 50-foot high tower into a white sheet stretched out below. The practice is designed to make the kids healthy and strong. In America, wouldn’t this be child abuse? Or at least reckless endangerment?

10. GREAT INVENTION: If you’re a soup lover, this could be the greatest invention ever. I’m not going to say anything else about it…you’ll just have to go see it for yourself.

Today is the first day of the all-important May Sweeps. So I’ll post this week’s edition of Ten On early so that I can keep my eyes on Channel 37.

1. UNPLUGGED: While those of us who work in television are already up to our hips in sweeps planning, there’s a group out there that hopes all of that work goes for naught. They used to call their annual effort, “TV Turnoff Week.” But now it appears that they have set their sights on more than just the “boob tube.” TV Squad explains what else they want you to stay away from for the rest of the week.

2. STILL THE KING: After rumors that Katie Couric might be pushed off of the CBS Evening News and tapped to replace Larry King, who might be ready to retire, the CBS brass stepped up and denied the Couric was going anywhere anytime soon. Then CNN stepped in and extended King’s contract into 2009. At close to $7 million a year, it is less than half what Couric is bringing in.

3. WHAT THEY PAID FOR?: And speaking of Couric’s salary, the week after the aforementioned rumors about her anchoring demise, the CBS Evening News brought in a new record low in terms of viewership. Last week, the Eye’s evening news attracted 5.39 million viewers, putting it more than 2 million behind second place World News on ABC. NBC Nightly News had 8.17 million.

4. CYBER CAMPAIGNING: Obama is winning the race to the White House…at least as far as online video streams are concerned. According to Nielsen, who this month is measuring television viewership, Obama had 518,000 unique viewers on his site accessing more than 800,000 video streams at 16 minutes per stream. Hillary Clinton drew 351,000 unique viewers and John McCain trailed at a mere 38,000 viewers. I’d call that a landslide for the Democrats; wonder if that will translate into actual numbers in November?

5. CIRCUS FREAKS: Remember the old show Circus of the Stars? It went off the air years ago. Probably for a reason. That notwithstanding, NBC has dipped deep in creativity to create an update of the show. Celebrity Circus premieres in June, well outside of May sweeps. Probably for a reason. The incredible list of “celebrities” who’ve signed on so far promises to insure the Peacock network with a blockbuster that you won’t forget for at least 18 seconds. Maybe CBS will bring back its defunct Pirate Master. What a week for TV that would be!

6. AND THE EMMY® GOES TO…: Beginning this year, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences will hand out an Emmy award to recognize the best host of a reality show. Anyone care to toss in their guesses for the first win? (And please don’t mention that Seacrest guy!)

7. JUST IN CASE: If you were a Jew who managed to slay a dragon, would you be able to indulge in a feast? The answer to this all-important question can be found on a “comprehensive analysis” of mythical animals and whether they would be kosher. Why? I’m still wondering.

8. MONTANA MEMOIR: Miley Cyrus, better known as “Hannah Montana” — and no, I’m not remotely familiar with her work — is writing her memoir. Seriously. The girl is 15. How long can the memoir be? If Cliffs Notes ever produced a summary, it might run a full paragraph.

9. HOW THE WORLD WILL END?: No, it has nothing to do with global warming, and I’m not trying to disasterize here, but I can’t help but wonder in the back of my mind if a story like this one might one day explode into something even the world’s finest doctors and researchers can’t stop. I refer to a story of a “genetically distinct” virus discovered in a remote part of Bolivia. The highly-deadly organism appears to be carried by rodents. This one has a 30% fatality rate, so it’s not time to sound any major alarms…unless you live among rodents in the remotest parts of Bolivia. I was amused by one of the comments: “It’s about time someone posted a piece of news like this. I was almost feeling safe for a minute there….”

10. PAIN AT THE PUMP: The question isn’t, “How high are gas prices?” but “How affordable is gas for the average American?” So says Charleston’s Post and Courier. They did some research to compare the rising price of gas over time in relation to per capita income. Yes, you know how this one ends. But what might be amazing to you is how recently the average price of gas was just a few pennies over a buck. Those were the days.

My list of ten miscellaneous items makes its first Thursday appearance this week thanks to an uninvited illness.

If you feel compelled to come up with ten of your own, feel free to leave a link to your blog. Otherwise, feel free to comment on any or all.

1. WHO KNEW?!?: My friend Jeff got a surprise while buying a gift from his wife. The surprise? A discount on an Apple product. Yes, I know…you need a moment to compose yourself after the shock of seeing the words discount and Apple in the same sentence. But wait, it gets better! Click here to read what the discount was for. Honesty definitely proved the best policy this time around! Way to go, Jeff.

2. NATURE’S WAY: Sometimes nature is an extraordinary thing. Scientists have learned that circulating through the bloodstream of alligators are what could be the basis of powerful new antibiotics that kill E. coli, herpes simplex, and Staphylococcus aureus. The gators live in the nasty sorts of places where these nasty germs live and thrive, so Mother Nature has given them the defenses they need to survive. Now, if only a way can be developed to get those defenses for humans without destroying the reptiles, we may have more good medical news for humanity.

3. ABC SAYS NO: The Alphabet network, as the trades call it, has passed on a remake of the old Circus of the Stars. It turns out that since ABC learned that NBC was already doing a celebrity reality show that involves a circus motif, it didn’t want to run with a concept so similar. I’m in shock all over again.

4. AMERICA’S FIRST FAMILY: Remember that slogan from a few years back? It was associated with NBC’s Today show. Now, the First Lady herself is making a special appearance to cohost the 9:00am hour next Tuesday. The longer the show runs over the course of the morning, the less useful it tends to be. Last time I checked, anything past about 7:45am began reaching into the questionable area. Anything past 8:25am is almost totally useless. Laura’s on at 9:00am. You do the math.

5. FIRST TABLE: Not to be outdone, Cindy McCain, who hopes to be the next First Lady, will appear next Monday on ABC’s The View. That’s a show that is even more useless than the later hours of Today in my book: it’s on opposite The Price is Right, for Pete’s sake.

6. ANCHOR TRADE: Insiders are suggesting a trade between CBS and CNN: how about putting Anderson Cooper in the center seat at the CBS Evening News and sending Couric to host a news-related talk show or to even replace Larry King some day. Would you be more likely to give CBS a try for the national news if Anderson was the anchor? Would you be more likely to give Couric a shot in a talk format?

7. I WISH: The quiz says I’m worth $826 per hour in bed. I say that’s a little steep, even on my best day. Okay, okay…it’s a lot steep, and you’ll just have to take my word on that. How much are you worth? And more importantly, do you know anyone who’d actually pay that much? (If you do, I don’t want to know….)

8. SOME CHRISTIANS GET IT: Bishop Desmond Tutu is one of them. Appearing before the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, he spoke about the church’s homophobia and ostricizing of homosexuals: “How sad, how tragic, that the Church be so concerned with this issue when God’s children all the world over are suffering.” I suspect that Jesus would reach out to everyone in a show of genuine love and compassion, not hate. I also suspect that He certainly wouldn’t blame tragedies of the world on society’s “acceptance” of homosexuality. Where, exactly, is homosexuality accepted, anyway?

9. RUN. DO NOT GO BACK. RUN!: I saw an interview with the woman accusing actor Rob Lowe of sexual assault and harassment this morning on one of the earlier, still-somewhat-useful hours of Today. Asked a very reasonable question: why she returned to the job after she had left more than once, given the conditions she describes, she answered that she loved the kids and needed the job. If I give her the complete benefit of the doubt that everything she claims happened happened, I am still left with this unescapable conclusion: if you’re being abused, you do not need that job. No matter what it pays. No matter how great the kids are. No matter how cool it is to work for an actor. When you’re a victim, you get away. And you stay away. It’s cases like this that make it so difficult for women who are abused to find justice by defeating defense attorneys who leap upon excuses like this and convince a jury that women were “asking for it.”

10. TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING: If you remember the scene where Ross tried to flirt with the Pizza girl on Friends, then you probably recall the bit of trivia that natural gas is odorless. They add the smell. They do it so that you know when there’s a leak. A leak is a bad thing, but knowing about it early so you can keep it from killing you is a good thing. But a Pennsylvania gas company apparently pumped a little too much of the stinky stuff, mercaptan, into their batch of natural gas, prompting lots of homeowners to suddenly start panicking about potential leaks that weren’t happening. At least they learned one important lesson: given the signal, homeowners will do the right thing and raise hell.