If I didn’t already have a relatively new category called “Mind Boggling,” this would be the story that could inspire it better than anything else.

Mike Huckabee, former presidential candidate and possible vice presidential contender for John McCain, was giving a speech on Friday during which there was a sudden noise from backstage. Huckabee tried to make a joke out of the interruption, and came up with this:

“That was Barack Obama. He just tripped off a chair. He was getting ready to speak and… somebody aimed a gun at him and he…he dove for the floor.”

The speech was being given, naturally, at the NRA. I’m sure they thought it was hilarious.

Huckabee didn’t waste much time issuing a statement of apology:

“During my speech at the NRA, a loud noise backstage, that sounded like a chair falling, distracted the crowd and interrupted my speech. I made an off hand remark that was in no way intended to offend or disparage Sen. Obama. I apologize that my comments were offensive. That was never my intention.”

Even politicians should be expected to have a little good taste. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.

A man of Vietnamese descent in Norway was scammed out of the equivalent of $35,000 American dollars by a Frenchman who told him he could double his money by soaking it in a special liquid along with blank bills.

The suspect assured the victim that if he mixed real cash with blank bills then soaked it overnight, the ink from the real money would apparently transfer to the blank bills, somehow in the exact same configuration, and with enough strength to make the blank bills be convincing.

The victim inexplicably believed the Frenchman and handed over 180,000 kroner, but discovered that the Frenchman and the cash had both departed without leaving a forwarding address the next morning.

There may well have been a language barrier involved:  a Frenchman and a Vietnamese man having a conversation in Norway just sounds confusing to me.  But there must have been a common sense barrier as well, according to police officer Ragnar Ingberg:

“He has given a statement that leads us to believe that he really believed this was possible. But we are of course having a hard time understanding how someone could actually believe such a tall tale.”

There is a little good news, but you’ll have to read the article for that.

Oh, the craziness that exists in my home state of South Carolina.

Over the weekend, I visited family and friends who live in Lexington County. I was reminded of a ridiculous set of laws I had forgotten even existed. The laws in question are known as “Blue Laws” and were originally enacted to prevent businesses from opening on Sundays, to allow for employees to attend church.

Over the years, much of the state has eased or thrown out blue laws altogether. For example, in Charleston County, I can go to a Super Wal-Mart at any hour of the day or night, and buy anything they sell. (The one possible exemption to this is alcohol, but since I almost never buy even a bottle of wine, I wouldn’t know, anyway.)

While I was shopping in this Lexington County Super Wal-Mart, I noticed that sections of the store had been roped off with a single line of thin yellow rope. I didn’t really think anything about that, since most of the time when I’m in a Wal-Mart store, something is always blocked off, either for floor cleaning or restocking. I got the items I needed and proceeded to the checkouts. That’s when it was pointed out that I wouldn’t be able to buy the majority of what was in my buggy until 1:30 that afternoon.

At the time, it was 12:15.

Ironically, on my way to checkouts, I stopped and spoke to a man named Tony, who attends my parents’ church. He’s a worship leader and Sunday School teacher. He was all suited up, and clearly had come from church. So my shopping in the store at that time would have been absolutely possible even if I had attended church myself that morning.

Back in Charleston, my pastor has a great phrase for the kinds of people who would enact Blue Laws to begin with. He refers to them as “J-FARS.” That’s Jesus Followers Acting Really Stupidly.”

Does anyone believe that Jesus really cares whether I buy a pair of khakis at 12:15pm or 1:30pm on a Sunday? Wouldn’t He be much more interested in whether or not I believe in Him? (And contrary to what some overly-righteous might have you believe, you do not have to be in church every time the door opens just to do that.)

Blue Laws were never a good idea. But in this day of churches offering multiple worship times, plus the internet offering new and innovative ways to worship, they’re now not only a bad idea, but a hopelessly backward example of J-FARS.

They need to go. At once.

Can I get an “Amen?”

Don’t get me wrong: I get that it’s important that we move toward being as “green” as possible. As a general rule, if I have two choices, one environmentally-friendly and the other not, if the prices and quality are comparable, I have no problem choosing the “greener” option.

But I think there’s a point at which you need to just chill out a little. The “Washup” is one of those cases.

It’s just a concept right now, but it combines a washing machine into a toilet, recycling wash water as toilet water and saving space by combining two pieces of basic household equipment that generally are never in the same place.

The thing is, there’s a reason they’re not in the same place.

What happens if you’re the poor sap who’s sitting there…uh, minding your own business…when the washer overflows?

How do you dry the clothes? There’s no mention of a dryer being incorporated in the mix, so that means you still have to take a pile of clean but now-damp laundry somewhere else to the dryer.

And can you imagine how much of a delight it’ll be when you’re in a hurry to get a load of laundry done when the “reading room” is…“otherwise occupied?” If you’re using the lower half of the contraption, you really aren’t in a position to help out with the top half.

Even worse, this could be the cause of World War III when it comes to whether or not we should leave the seat up. I wonder how many times an article of freshly-washed clothing falling right into the tank will make the rule for both sexes, “Seat and lid down.”

HT: BoingBoing

Yesterday in Columbia, as everyone was celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, an educator was sent home because of going “over the top” with his costume.

Michael Rice, an English teacher, coach and U.S. Army Reserve Staff Sergeant, reported to his mentoring job at Lower Richland High School wearing a green hat in the style of Shaft and light green “alien” sunglasses. Underneath the cap, he had dyed his short black hair green, also in honor of the holiday.

Rice was called to the principal’s office shortly after the first block of the day ended, local station WLTX-TV reported, and was told by the principal that the hair color was “over the top.”

Clearly, with that hat and the sunglasses, it was dyed hair that was over the top!

Rice explained that he wore his hair that color in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. (No one explained why anyone would need to explain something so obvious.)

Rice says he wanted to give fellow staff members and students “a good laugh.” But the principal wasn’t laughing, apparently having decided that Rice was not dressed professionally.

Seriously. This guy, who works as a 9th grade mentor, helping kids prepare for college, gets sent home over green hair.

When I was in school, we’d have loved such a “deviation” from the norm. It wouldn’t have disrupted anything; if anything, it would have made this particular teacher seem more hip, more cool, and worth more of our attention. Even if only for a day.

It certainly wouldn’t have caused a complete breakdown in the educational process. But learning that the principal actually sent this guy home because of the green hair sure would have.

I bet that’s all they’ve been talking about ever since. Maneuvers like this aren’t exactly what it takes to get South Carolina out of the cellar when it comes to state rankings of educational performance.

Police in Kansas are trying to figure out why it took a man two years to call for help when his girlfriend wouldn’t get up from the toilet.

No, really. I am not making this up:

“The boyfriend told investigators he had brought the woman food and water and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom. But he did not explain what took him so long to call for police.”

If she didn’t come out of the bathroom for two years, how could he still see her as his girlfriend? Seems like it would have occurred to him after the first several hours that something was wrong.

I can only assume that there was a second bathroom that he was using all this time.

The mind boggles.