Ten On… – Week 9

Last Updated on August 27, 2017

It’s Thursday…just two days away from the weekend.&nbsp  I don’t know about you, but I’m already ready for one!

But before we can get to the weekend, we have to get through 10 more miscellaneous items that I hope will surprise and entertain.&nbsp  If you are inspired to come up with a list of your own, not that I’m expecting anyone to start now, please leave a link to your post in the comments!

1. HOW COOL IS THIS?: My birthday’s in November, and I hope to be a good bit lighter by then…but if all goes well, then I might have to take a break from the diet and invest in one of these cakes. Imagine the fun of pretending to be a Klingon or Romulan and slicing up Captain Kirk’s bridge as his valiant crew runs for their very lives. Of course, they would all survive; they’d have to make it to the first motion picture ten birthday cakes later.

2. GOODBYE, MR. HAGEN: What makes a composer successful? Is it a big bank account, the respect of his peers, or having created a tune that is practically everyone not only knows, but can hum (or whistle along with). Earle Hagen was just such a composer, and he passed away Monday at 88. Hagen composed the legendary themes of That Girl, The Dick Van Dyke Show, I Spy, and Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. Then there’s that little tune that Hagen himself whistled as a father and son walked to their favorite fishing hole: the theme to The Andy Griffith Show. If any music could put a smile on your face, his was it.

3. THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR (ON TV): NBC is developing a new horror anthology series. Fear Itself will debut on June 5th, as part of the network’s push for year-round original programming…something all networks should have been doing for decades now. Will you watch?

4. DIET DNA: Diet Coke, easily the best diet soft drink ever invented, is in the process of dropping an ingredient that has been linked to DNA damage and hyperactivity in children. If the damage the DNA received affected the body’s ability to store fat, I bet no one would have complained.

5. FORGOT SOMETHING?: I love this story. Really. It’s hilarious and outrageous at the same time and it goes like this: a Customs drug screening team was working to make sure their drug sniffing dogs could correctly sniff out the luggage with 124 grams of hashish. The only problem is that they misplaced the luggage with the hidden hashish. Apparently, whoever owned it — one of 283 passengers on a plane traveling from Hong Kong to Narita — got to their bags before the dogs did. What makes it even worse is that the owner of the bad had no idea the illegal stash is there. Can you imagine getting stopped somewhere else and having another set of customs officials find what the first set lost? Think they’d buy the hapless passenger’s plea of innocence?

6. COUNTDOWN TO DIGITAL: Nine months and all’s not well for television households in America. In February, as you probably have heard, television broadcasting is switching from analog to digital. If you subscribe to cable or satellite, you have nothing to worry about, as long as your service doesn’t go out. If you depend on an antenna or receive a signal over the air without one, and your television set doesn’t have a new digital tuner, you’re going to be out of luck. No picture. No sound. Nada. A new report by Nielsen Media Research, (the ratings people) predicts that 25 million homes have at least one television set that will stop functioning and that 10 million are “completely unready” for the switch. Go to dtv2009.gov to read up on what you need to do to make sure you’re not one of them.

7. THE BIG COMEBACK: You knew it had to happen sooner or later. The recession — or whatever euphemism the current administration is coming up with these days — is being blamed for increased sales of Spam. Not the unwanted email, that ham-like lunch meat in the can. The butt of jokes for decades, its new gains in sales is proof of one thing: when money’s tight, shoppers are not willing to put their money where their mouth is.

8. BUT SHE HAD NO POCKETS!: A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man’s home, while his wife was away. The man allegedly hired the woman from the internet and paid $100 an hour for her to clean in the buff. When the man’s wife got home, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing. Talk about hubby being in the doghouse!

9. RAY RAZZED: A commercial featuring hyper Rachel Ray pitching Dunkin’ Donuts coffee has been pulled after a controversy over what she’s wearing. Ray is shown in an outdoor setting wearing a gray V-neck top and a cream, black and silver scarf with tassels along the edges. A commentator on Fox News remarked that the scarf looked like a kiffiyeh, a Middle Eastern accessory popularized by Yassir Arafat and Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos. Dunkin’ Donuts pulled the ad, and actually assured the public that no symbolism for terrorists was intended. As if anyone should be stupid enough to believe otherwise.&nbsp  Seriously, people: it’s Dunkin’ Donuts. They’re trying to sell a cup of coffee. Who comes up with this stuff?!?

10. WARDROBE MALFUNCTION?: A new political commercial for John McCain shows a voter wearing a Barack Obama shirt. I’m sure Fox News will label her a terrorist as well.

That’s my 10. Do you have 10 of your own?