Every week, it seems, there’s a new infographic solicitation in my inbox, and I’ve reached the point of just deleting them without responding.
I get them all the time: lately, I’ve seen more and more instances of an infographic solicitation. It works like this: someone sees something I’ve written on a particular topic, then sends me an email hoping to “collaborate.”
And I’ve had enough of it.
Here’s how it works.
The email started off nicely enough: “Hi, there.”
No, “Hi, Patrick,” which tells me it’s an email — at least in part — that is mostly a mass email.
I take note of such things, but honestly, I’m not put off by that alone. It’s what follows that puts me off.
The first line introduces the writer. In this case, her name, she says, is Betty. I’m sure that’s probably not her name. But it amuses me that she’s willing to take the extra couple of seconds to include her name, despite the fact that she couldn’t include mine in the salutation.
Betty loves sports. I don’t.
Betty isn’t just a lover of sports, she’s an “ardent sports lover.”  I’m happy for her that she’s found a pastime.
I, however, am not a lover of sports.
She then lays a little bombshell on me. It seems she’s been checking out some of my articles here and has found “pretty good stuff” I’ve written about “golf sports.”
Golf sports? Funny, I’ve only ever heard it referred to as just plain golf. Then again, I have no real interest in golf, so I wouldn’t know. Other than a rare round of Putt-Putt, I just cant get into the game.
Then she tells me about her colleague who has put together a “pretty comprehensive piece” on the history of golf. In singing this work’s praises, adds this:
“You may can [sic]consider adding the infographic to your blog (I can also write a short intro to go along with it if you’d like?).”
Yes, I suppose I “may can.”
But I certainly won’t. And there’s a good reason for that.
I’m amazed she’s found my ‘pretty good stuff’ on golf.
Really. My hat’s off to Betty.
She’s managed to do what I would have considered impossible! She’s found enough content on a subject I don’t write about to conclude their infographic would be a perfect fit.
I hope you’re sitting down for this next one!
She then saves me a little bit of time that I’d spend frantically scouring my archives and consulting a doctor about memory loss.
She provides me a link to a post I’ve written for which she feels her infographic would be “a good fit.”
The post, it turns out, is titled, “Daylight Saving Time Ends Tonight, My Favorite Night of the Year.” I published it in early November 2016. As you can probably guess, it’s about Daylight Saving Time.
It is not about golf.
The word golf doesn’t even appear anywhere in the piece.
Does anyone actually agree to forming a “collaboration” from an email like this?
The majority of these emails also mention towards the end that the message was sent via my own contact form. Well, that’s funny, too, because my contact page makes it blatantly clear that I don’t accept such solicitations. And anyone who’s trying to contact me through that form has to scroll past that message to reach the contact form.
Guess they’re too busy to read that part.
Poor Betty. She’s out of luck on this one. But then it’s her own fault.
So if you’re considering such a solicitation, make time to read what’s ahead of the form.
You’ll save yourself a lot of time.