Faith

Can Being Gay Really Be a Gift from God?

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Last Updated on February 17, 2022

I heard a conversation recently in which a Christian friend quoted, indirectly, Apple CEO Tim Cook, who recently wrote that he considers his homosexuality a “gift from God.”

Specifically, Cook wrote this:

“While I have never denied my sexuality, I haven’t publicly acknowledged it either, until now. So let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.”

This Christian friend took the predictable Christian stance: immediately condemning the notion that anyone would think God would either make someone gay or that if such a thing happened, that it could possibly be considered a “gift.”

As I have stated before, I don’t think God makes anyone gay. But then I don’t think God made me have hazel eyes. I think a biological process, the minute details of which I don’t care to invest the time in studying, took care of my eye color, along with a lot of other details. And while I believe God set those processes in motion, I just don’t think He is that involved in every single detail.

That’s why I don’t blame God when a baby is born with birth defects: I don’t believe God causes things like that. I think they just happen.

I think what matters to God is how we deal with the cards we are dealt, whether they appear to be a winning or losing hand.

I’m not trying to call homosexuality a “birth defect” or even a “losing hand,” mind you. But I believe that the same processes that create other things that are largely out of an individual’s control may well influence things like sexual orientation.

What is most disappointing, however, from what I’ve heard from some Christians is that they grab the headline, the fact that Cook said he considered being gay a “gift from God,” and immediately began running with that.

When I hear a statement like that, my first inclination isn’t to simply run with that headline. The first thing that occurs to me is to stop. And then to ask, “Why?”

Maybe that’s the journalist in me, but when someone makes a statement like this, before I delve into judgement, I want to understand what would make them say such a thing. How can being gay be a “gift from God,” and how can anyone possibly believe that it could be?

When you look past the headline, you find that Cook wrote this:

“Being gay has given me a deeper understanding of what it means to be in the minority and provided a window into the challenges that people in other minority groups deal with every day. It’s made me more empathetic, which has led to a richer life. It’s been tough and uncomfortable at times, but it has given me the confidence to be myself, to follow my own path, and to rise above adversity and bigotry. It’s also given me the skin of a rhinoceros, which comes in handy when you’re the CEO of Apple.”

I don’t know about anyone else, but that gives me a very different take on that headline.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Empathy is one of the ingredients required to truly build relationships and love thy neighbor, which, as most Christians will recall, Jesus said was one of the two most important commandments, and one of the basic building blocks of the Ten Commandments.

From that respect, I can understand, at least, the reasoning that he sees a benefit from being put on the road he’s on. I still may not agree that being gay is something God “assigns” someone, but I understand, from Cook’s point of view, how he can see the ostracism that comes from being gay as a kind of blessing, the same way I can understand someone with a terminal illness calling that a gift because of it allowing them to stop and take a step back and see life and those precious moments in a way that most of us don’t ever take the time to do.

The idea of calling a negative a “gift” is nothing new. Believers tend to put the credit for all of our “gifts” on God. Consider how many times you see on Facebook someone saying, “God is good,” immediately after something good happens in their lives. If you believe in God, you should believe that God is good no matter what happens, but if there’s something positive that occurs, that’s what tends to bring out the “God is good” line. When those student loans are paid off or your new house closes or you get that job you’ve been waiting to hear about, God is certainly good. Each may be a gift from God.

But do we really think God stops what He’s doing and personally handles everyone of those details? I think He certainly could if He wanted to, but I have a hard time imagining that He actually does.

How about that “confidence” line in Cook’s quote? I’m sure there are believers who’ll jump on that part, too, claiming that he’s saying he’s choosing his own path instead of following God’s path. But I challenge any Christian who claims that following God is always easy, that there’s never a moment — or a long series of them — in which we sometimes have to have confidence in ourselves and in the faith we hold within us to take the step we think is right. I challenge any Christian who says that there is never a time in which a follower of Christ needs a thick skin to deal with those around us, particularly those who don’t share our views.

It’s disturbing when Christians — of all people — seem so quick to latch on to one small statement, taken out of context, and make a mountain out of that molehill without even knowing why the small statement was said. Loving thy neighbor means first getting to know them.

And that’s not the way to do it.

the authorPatrick
Patrick is a Christian with more than 30 years experience in professional writing, producing and marketing. His professional background also includes social media, reporting for broadcast television and the web, directing, videography and photography. He enjoys getting to know people over coffee and spending time with his dog.

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