Grammar

Bro, What’s The Problem?

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Last Updated on June 13, 2017

Among relatively new words that have entered the language over the past few years is bromance.

It has nothing to do with homosexuality, for those of you who have managed to avoid it.&nbsp  It’s all about close male friendship.

Girls almost always have a close female friend who they like to hang out with, who they feel they can trust completely and share their more intimate thoughts with.&nbsp  Girls actually call such friends “girlfriends” but it’s always understood somehow that they don’t mean that kind of “girlfriend.”

Guys never call a close guy friend a “boyfriend” unless it really is a boyfriend, and that’s a totally different story.

Why?&nbsp  Because we’re generally far too worried about our image to allow such assumptions to be possible without our Internal Macho Alert System (IMAS) going off.&nbsp  This IMAS thing, for the benefit of you ladies out there, can be a royal pain in the butt.

Even when it’s a safe assumption that there’s nothing gay going on, those jokes still don’t go away.

Consider Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, for example.&nbsp  Those two guys have the kind of friendship almost every guy in the world secretly wants to have, but almost never admits it.&nbsp  They’re close, they hang out, they’re buds (because “buds” sounds more cool than “buddies”).&nbsp  They make no bones about how much they like each other.&nbsp  But there’s no evidence — other than in the minds of some fans that are, shall we say, a bit over-enthusiastic — that there’s more than anything besides close friendship going on there.

Somehow, guys like this have managed to overcome the annoyance of their own little IMAS.&nbsp  You have to admire that.&nbsp  Women certainly seem to.

A recent article on the subject adds this:

“Even if women would never make fun of two dudes developing a deep bond, other dudes will. It’s still not socially cool for guys to proclaim undying love and loyalty for their pals like it is for women, who constantly hug and, hell, even make out with their best friends on occasion.”

I’m lucky enough to have two friends who fit that category.&nbsp  (I mean that “undying love and loyalty” thing…definitely not the “make out” part.&nbsp  Sorry, that was my IMAS kicking in.)

Oddly enough, the more I think about the two of them, I note how similiar they happen to be.&nbsp  They’ve never met each other, though each has certainly heard of the other.&nbsp  But there are similarities down to details like musical instruments at which they’re proficient.

But that shouldn’t really come as a surprise; we all search for qualities that we value in those we want close to us, whether it’s a spouse or a good friend.&nbsp  (A good, platonic, completely hetero friend.&nbsp  Did you hear the alarm that time?)

When guys can find that in other guys and form that level of friendship, almost like real-life brothers…at least in families where the brothers actually get along with each other…there should be no room for ridicule.

Personally, I’m just glad that these two guys saw in me some qualities that they value.&nbsp  Life would be a lot less happy without them.

(Okay, ladies, go ahead…cue the big “Awwwww.”&nbsp  I promise to ignore the blinking red light at the IMAS control panel.)

the authorPatrick
Patrick is a Christian with more than 30 years experience in professional writing, producing and marketing. His professional background also includes social media, reporting for broadcast television and the web, directing, videography and photography. He enjoys getting to know people over coffee and spending time with his dog.

1 Comment

  • No “awwww” from me, just applause. Guys need friends too.

    God knows, though, I hate the word “bromance.” Lame. I do like “buds”, although we had to stop using it in our house when our son got in trouble–in second grade–for saying “Zack’s my bud.” Or, as the teacher who castigated him heard, “Sex my butt.” True story.

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