The ‘Pro-Life’ ‘No Sex’ Response Requires Some Answers


For some of the anti-abortion folks who saw to criticism of the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade, their advice is to have no sex.

The first time I heard that “no sex” answer, I immediately thought of a question or two. Some of the people who oppose abortion and don’t want any woman to have the ability to choose like to call themselves “pro-Life.”

I disagree with that title. I call them “anti-choice.”

Some of them further demonstrated why “anti-choice” is a more appropriate title. They did so in their answers to those who support a woman’s right to choose.

Let’s be clear on one thing. The majority who support the right to choose don’t encourage women to have abortions. They don’t hate children.

They merely feel that it shouldn’t be up to the government to tell a woman if that’s an option for her.

That’s all. That’s the whole position in a nutshell.

But some of the “anti-choice” folk who criticized those who complained of the Supreme Court’s decision answered with this:

“If you don’t want a baby, don’t have sex.”

I’d like to believe that no one would seriously pose such an imbecilic idea.

Especially when many of these same people recoil at those who support same-sex marriage who tell them, “If you don’t like same-sex marriage, marry someone of the opposite sex.”

Either way, problem solved, right?

But I’ve heard it more times than I can count. I suspect, given the volume, some must actually believe it’s valid.

So you’ll forgive a few questions about this ‘no sex’ idea.

You see, I’m not married. So I tend to look at things from a single guy’s perspective.

I don’t have anything against marriage. Just so you know, I haven’t found the one to whom I want to be married. I know it’s fashionable these days — and has been for many years — to just get hitched and if things don’t work out — no problem: you get a divorce and move on.

Some of us are a bit more old-fashioned than that, I suppose.

But if you subscribe to the idiotic notion that anyone who doesn’t want to have a baby should refrain from sex, I just can’t help but ask about that.

Since I’m not married, I have to rely on the married folks to enlighten the rest of us.

When you and your spouse decide to do the deed, how much time to you spend before that passionate moment on family planning?

No, I’m being serious. Some apparently believe, based on what they say, that you should only have sex if you want to have a baby. We have to assume, then, that if you’re going to have sex, you want to produce a child.

We know pregnancy can be difficult for the woman or that raising a child can cost a bundle. It can even take an emotional toll on the parents-to-be and their other children.

So tell me, married couples: How do you handle this?

It honestly never dawned on me that there were so many people who choose to have sex only when they want to have a child. I thought a married couple might enjoy a bit of spontaneity, at least once in a while, in the bedroom. It seemed reasonable to me to conclude that sex after marriage might be enjoyed without an obligation that a child must be produced every single time. (Or, that it could be enjoyed without the intent of it producing a pregnancy every single time.)

We hear stories about couples and honeymoons. On that first night of a honeymoon, a time when most of us assume sex might happen at least once, are you already trying to conceive a child that quickly after you say “I do”?

If so, there are a lot of married couples I suspect have been doing it wrong since day one. I bet they’d like to know that this “no sex” idea is how they should have been going all along.

the authorPatrick
Patrick is a Christian with more than 30 years experience in professional writing, producing and marketing. His professional background also includes social media, reporting for broadcast television and the web, directing, videography and photography. He enjoys getting to know people over coffee and spending time with his dog.