Tuesday, November 19, 2019

They’re Mad As Hell…

…and they’re lactating.

It doesn’t take having a wife to know that this is a potentially-dangerous combination.

A group of furious — not just angry, they’re enraged — mothers plans to protest a North Carolina Denny’s restaurant where a breastfeeding mom was asked to either move to another part of the restaurant or cover up.  Her efforts to feed her child right out in the open for the rest of the world to see was making other patrons uncomfortable, and some of them complained to the restaurant’s management while others just up and walked out.

The mom, an apparently-fiesty 28-year-old who is unapologetic about her actions, claims the restaurant harassed her.  Harassed?  Well, that’s an interesting claim.

Let’s look up that little word and get the actual definition:

Harass:  (hə-rās’, hār’əs), v.

  1. To irritate or torment persistently.
  2. To wear out; exhaust.
  3. To impede and exhaust (an enemy) by repeated attacks or raids.

So you’re in business, in a bad economy, hoping you can stay afloat and not have to lay off any of your employees, grateful (presumably) for every customer who walks in your door.  And suddenly you see some of your customers walking out, while others start coming to you all shocked and offended.

You realize that there’s a customer who doesn’t seem to give a damn what those around her think, because she’s so focused on what she wants to do, what her child wants her to do, and doing it only the way she wants to do it.

Most of the time that this breastfeeding thing comes up, most of the women who say that they side with the angry moms also, at some point, add that they’d at least make an effort to cover up.  This mom, from the sound of the articles I’ve seen, wouldn’t even do that.

Her way or no way.  Sort of like our last president.

Is that a reasonable way to behave when there are other people around who may not share your precise point of view?  Yeah, maybe it sucks — pardon the pun — to have to think that way…but there is such a thing as compromise, and you’ll note that I’m not suggesting for a moment that the “proper” thing would have been for the mom to retreat to a “dirty, filthy public restroom.”  A little modesty, as I’ve argued before, would have likely gone a long way.

It’s called “give and take.”  Or compromise.  Remember that word?

I know that there are a lot of my readers who will argue, and who have argued in the past, that it’s shameful that our society has made the breast this thing to be worshiped so long as no baby is around.  And I think that’s an absolutely valid point of view.

But if the breast should never have been made a sexual organ, if it never should have been used for any purpose other than its biological design, why do women shop for some of the more alluring selections at stores like Victoria’s Secret?

No, I’m not kidding.  I’m quite serious.  I’m not talking about those instances where the men buy things they’d like to see their ladies wearing (although the women who “just go along with it” should be asked to account for themselves, too).  I’m talking about those low-cut, laced little ditties that women either know or at least hope the men won’t be able to resist.

They’re not wearing their grandmother’s brassieres these days, and most of what’s different has to do with making things more visually appealing.  So what’s up with that?

If it’s so wrong that the breast is anything other than a “food delivery device,” then how dare any woman wear a brassiere that’s meant to draw attention to her bosom in any way.  The only person they should hope would place any attention to that part of her body should be her hungry child, and they’re born with the programming to know what a breast is for: they don’t need any fancy fashion assistance to figure that out.

What about all of those fashion and lingerie models?  To any would-be public breast-feeder, these are the people who should be Enemy #1, not someone who would complain that “it’s just hanging out for the world to see.”

Any woman who complains about people being offended about seeing a mom use a breast for its “real” function but who also happens to have that kind of skimpy number in her own dresser drawer is living quite the double standard, it would seem.

Men may have started this particular little fire — when it’s about something sexual, men usually are the ones who are — but there are plenty of women who have no problem fanning the flames, do they?  Shouldn’t this be a problem, too?

And while we’re on the subject of “my way or no way,” consider the women who are planning the protest: they’re giving the restaurant an ultimatum:  it needs to issue an apology to this “martyred mom,” at which point it should then formalize an official policy on breastfeeding.

And regardless of its decision, the moms are ready to play this little ballgame:  if the restaurant refuses to apologize, they will gather outside the restaurant in protest, and they’ll breastfeed their babies right there out in the open for the whole world to see.  If the restaurant does decide to give in and say it’s sorry, the women will step inside their former “enemy camp” and have lunch…during which they’ll breastfeed their babies right there out in the open for the whole world to see.

Sure sounds like they’re out to “irritate or torment persistently” the people who they feel disagrees with them.

It’s a plan that begs a question:  who’s harassing whom?


  1. They are structurally sound, keep things in place without jiggling, and don’t make everything look all lumpy or pokey. And they are comfortable. Plus you can get the right fit if you just ask an employee to measure you.

    Of course, you have to wade through the Bizarro World at the front of the store to get to the boring stuff. 😉 Also, I love their colognes, and their laundry detergent (which they have discontinued, apparently: BOOO!!!!). The pajamas they sell–actual pajamas–are fabulously comfortable as well.

    VS also sells clothes: jeans, shirts, skirts, shoes. Overpriced, perhaps, and always looking for the Eye-Candy value (i.e., items to show off one’s “assets”), but pretty good quality in my very limited experience.

    Of course, some of the Bizarro World stuff “works” for some women in a completely different way, but much of that just looks uncomfortable and really silly. It is fun to see men in that store, however, all trying to keep control of their eyeballs. 😀

  2. I’m totally staying out of this one. And I shop at VS–they actually sell good undergarments that WORK for some women. None of mine are pink or lacy, fyi.

  3. I suspect this was a set-up. The vast majority of breast feeding mothers are extremely discreet. I would be willing to bet that the offended patrons have been in the presence of breast feeding in the past without ever even realising it. If this woman whipped her whole boob out and made feeding her child into a public display, then she had an agenda beyond just taking care of a hungry child. I’d lay odds she’s a member of the group who are protesting, and that she intentionally created an over-the-top display for the express purpose of giving the group an excuse to protest.

  4. Why, Patrick! I do believe you’re just a tad incensed!

    I stand by my position that breasts should not be sexualized into pornographic appendages (and I’ve never shopped at Victoria’s Secret in my life).

    That said: When all Denny’s requested was that she “move to another part of the restaurant or cover up”, she is not a victim of harassment. Had they offered her no option other than to “stop or get out”, there’d have been grounds for protest.

    It’s sad. No matter which side of the breastfeeding argument you’re on. It shouldn’t be an issue at all.

    These angry moms, however, might put their time to better use. Like protesting Wall Street chicanery or the unscrupulous lenders who capitalized on sub-prime mortgages, got rich–and left millions of Americans facing foreclosure. Or demonstrating about the dearth of medical services for over 47 million uninsured working Americans (lots of children are at risk among these families).

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Patrick is a Christian with more than 28 years experience in professional writing, producing and marketing. His professional background also includes social media, reporting for broadcast television and the web, directing, videography and photography. He enjoys getting to know people over coffee and spending time with his dog.