Turning 40: Bucket List Rejects


The older people get, the more they like to talk about “bucket lists,” compilations of things they hope to try before they “kick the bucket.”

I’ve never had one, and I really don’t feel a need to start one. There are only a few “exotic” things I’d like to do that I haven’t, and probably the biggest one is to be able to pet a dolphin.

That’s about as exotic as I get.

But there are plenty of other people who make up for my lack of luster with their own lists. Just search “Bucket List” on Google and you’ll quickly see what I mean.

So I figured I’d list 40 things (since that’s the magic number) that aren’t ever likely to be on my list.

1. Do stand-up comedy.
2. Learn some fancy dance move.
3. Own a Corvette.
4. Run a marathon.
5. Go Snow Skiing.
6. Swim with Sharks.
7. Ride the World’s Largest Roller Coaster.
8. Learn to Juggle.
9. Ride in the Tour de France
10. Meet Paris Hilton.
11. Go White Water Rafting.
12. Swim Across the English Channel.
13. Learn Karate
14. Ring in the New Year at Times Square.
15. Visit All 50 States.
16. Learn to Quilt.
17. Become a triathlete.
18. Get a PhD.
19. Be Chased by a Bull.
20. Go Water Skiing.
21. Be Time’s Person of the Year.
22. Have a Street Named After Me
23. Get Chased by Wild Animals on Safari.
24. Get Chased by Wild Animals in a Rainforest.
25. Take Singing Lessons
26. Run for Office.
27. Go Scuba Diving
28. Go to Medical School.
29. Ride in a Hot-Air Balloon
30. Fly Overseas.
31. Try Illegal Drugs.
32. Go Ice Skating
33. Get Drunk at Mardi Gras.
34. Climb Mt. Everest.
35. Set a World Record.
36. Go Completely, Totally Off the Power Grid.
37. Go Sky Diving.
38. Drive a Race Car.
39. Charter a Yacht.
40. Become a Vegetarian.

I’m sure I could come up with more. But maybe I’ll add ten more in 2019.


  1. Strange … I find I’ve done 6 of the items on your imaginary list.

    Really ought to visit a Sea-World if’n you hanker petting dolphins.

    You need to get out (and away from that bloody editing room) more.

  2. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but if you’re ever down in San Antonio, you can cross the dolphin thing off your “list” by visiting the local SeaWorld.

    I don’t have a bucket list either. Never saw any reason to have one. Usually when I see one of those lists, the stuff mentioned in it tends to be a bunch of stuff that I would expect one to talk about and say, “that might be fun to try someday.” That hardly qualifies as something one must experience once before they croak.

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Patrick is a Christian with more than 29 years experience in professional writing, producing and marketing. His professional background also includes social media, reporting for broadcast television and the web, directing, videography and photography. He enjoys getting to know people over coffee and spending time with his dog.