So I am trying my best to adopt a new attitude starting today.
I’ve been quite frustrated lately in a variety of directions. So I am making a concerted effort to just “get over it,” a trick that does not come easily to people who suffer from various anxiety disorders that make it something of a challenge to let go of things.
There has been a slight change — although I’ve not let it feel so slight much of the time — at the old workplace involving one of my responsibilities. It was one that I enjoyed, but one that was admittedly taking a little too much of my time. I feel silly saying this, but I think I actually experienced the five stages of grief when the task was reassigned. Maybe I didn’t hit all five; I don’t recall bargaining for anything other than to go on doing what I was doing without any change (which isn’t much of a negotiation, unless you’re George W. Bush). It’s entirely possible that I hit anger before denial. (And likely after as well.)
But I know that I have reached the final stage: acceptance. It’s okay. It’s less stress for me to have to deal with on a daily basis. That’s a good thing. (And no, I’m not just saying that to convince myself: I’m convinced already.)
I’ve also been dealing with other frustrations, including one of my biggest pet peeves: broken things that remain unfixed. Things change, I am often reminded. Old systems that are no longer efficient get replaced by newer systems that promise to be at least as efficient. Sometimes, newer technology isn’t so efficient because it means jumping through additional hoops to get the same things done.
I hate that. If it slows me down, it’s not better. It’s only slower.
But there comes a point at which the old systems become too expensive to fix. There are few things that get me more fired up than having the same problems continue because a problem everyone knows about just keeps right on going. Fix it! Now!
I’m trying to get over that, too.
Some things aren’t going to get fixed. They’ll be replaced. By things that aren’t as efficient in certain ways. But by things that generally have a better chance of getting the task accomplished in the end.
And as much as I’d like to wallow in the aggravation, because we anxiety sufferers tend to find some perverse pleasure in wallowing in such things, I have to move forward. I have to learn to embrace something different. Even though it will certainly cause a new set of problems. (New things always do.) I have to accept the fact that some things won’t be able to be done as easily or quickly. So I will have to be the one to adapt. (Technology always makes us adapt to it rather than the other way around.)
My friend Archie, a pastor at my church, has recently started a blog, and his latest post is called “Here’s to new beginnings.” Archie and his wife, Rebekah, are moving to California later this year, and in that post, he talks about the thought of looking forward to making changes he wants to make and a move as an opportunity to make them:
“But then the thought hit me… If I’m not starting that stuff now, I’m probably not going do it out there; just because I’m in a new place doesn’t mean that I change on the inside. BUT on the other hand- why wait to start out there? God tells us in scripture that his mercies are new EVERY DAY. So here’s to a new beginning on life… today.”
Here, here. I’m trying.