About One Other Celebrity Caught Behaving Badly

Last Updated on February 12, 2022

I did not include any mention of Mel Gibson’s recent brush with the law in my last post about misbehaving celebrities. For one thing, I knew that Carly was working on a post on that subject, and that her post would be far more important when it came to the subject of depression and addictive behavior than the more humorous take I intended on some of the “lesser” offenses. (And I was right: check out her post, “Fit Shaced,” here.)

Also, it’s important to note that Gibson’s drunken rant against Jews during a DUI traffic stop goes well beyond the issue of a party girl who’d rather dance into the night instead of show up for work on time, a goofy neckrub or fan obsession over a celebrity couple’s newborn. By comparison, the latter cases don’t compare at all.

Carly makes excellent points about the nature of alcoholism. For example:

It is my opinion that depression is the most human thing that can happen to someone.

In a lengthy reply to her post, I agreed that depression is one of humanity’s greatest equalizers. The poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich can share the exact same lows of depression, and neither will be able to see the valuable things they do have enough to be grateful for anything. Getting past the pain will be all they’re concerned with, unless they’re too scared to try to get past the pain, at which point they begin to get so used to living with the pain that it’s just easier to wallow in self-pity. Feeling unimportant, unnecessary, of no value becomes so “normal” that depression actually becomes their comfort zone. (And yes, I do know of what I speak here.)

Many people have expressed outrage over what Gibson supposedly said. Many have demanded to see and hear his exact words. (As if it even matters.) Many have accused those who have claimed to be offended as trying to get “revenge” against him because of his depiction of Jews in his movie, The Passion of the Christ. Even in Hollywood, we have to have our conspiracy theories.

Very few are focusing on the more important issue here. Again, quoting Carly:

“The thing is, alcoholism is the symptom of something much deeper going on, and until that original pain or ache is truly dealt with, there is no real chance of healing.”

Does Mel Gibson hate Jewish people? What difference does it really make? If his “true feelings” on that particular subject are so important to you, I’d ask you to consider why you aren’t more concerned with the demons he apparently has yet to conquer. And I’d ask you to take a look at your own life and figure out who might be much closer to you who might also have a struggle that you’re either ignoring, or worse, enabling.

No, I’m not suggesting that you should ignore the hatred of those who hate. I’m not suggesting that it’s unreasonable to decide to never see another Gibson film if you disagree with his views. But there are bound to be people closer to you who have their own problems, and if you only allow yourself to look at the end result of those problems, you’re missing a potential opportunity to help.

As I also pointed out in that entry, I had an uncle who was an alcoholic. I suppose that there might be a few folks in the family who might dispute that, or at least suggest that “alcoholic” is an exaggeration. One evening, when I was about seven or eight or so, I ended up at his house after he had been drinking. I honestly do not remember the circumstances that caused me to end up there. But I’ll never forget sitting at the kitchen table next to him listening to heavily-slurred words, realizing that this is what drunk people really look like. (I’d seen drunk people on television by then, but never in person; on TV, I knew it was an act. This was the real thing.) This particular relative was a good guy. I don’t think he was ever abusive or violent when he drank. But he had this weakness that a few in the family didn’t really want to deal with. “So he wants to drink…what’s the harm?” He wasn’t a drunk driver, he wasn’t the kind to get into constant fights or violent arguments. He seemed more like the bumbling, “everyone’s-pal” kind of drunk.

He looked at me that night and said, “I like your style.” I didn’t know what that meant at the time, because it never occurred to me that I even had a “style.” The next day, I was taken back to the house because he wanted to apologize to me. That apology came in his backyard, as he shifted weight from foot to foot, and had difficulty making eye contact with me over the shame of it. He said he was sorry, and I told him it was all right. I even remember telling him that I took it as a compliment.

Had I been a lot older, I might have asked some questions about why he drank or what he was trying to run from. But I was a kid. That wasn’t my job. Those whose job it was apparently either didn’t ask or just didn’t ask often enough. No one ever said such a job was easy.

I’m watching a rerun of “All in the Family” right now. The episode is about Archie Bunker snapping at his relatives while he’s laid up in bed with an injured back. Edith looks at Gloria after one of Archie’s tirades and says, “It’s just the pain talking.”

Pain does a lot of talking. Alcohol can ease the pain, but it doesn’t do anything about what is causing the pain. Sometimes, the alcohol can make the pain even worse. When you think about it, it’s not much of an escape after all.